What does it mean to be highly sensitive? There is a Tubi documentary entitled "Sensitive" which examined what it is like to be a "Highly Sensitive Person" in today's world. I watched the documentary and found it both interesting and helpful. In today's post, I'd like to share some insights about high sensitivity and what that means for all of us as members of the same human family...
What does it mean to be highly sensitive? Just the other day, a dear friend's daughter had her first baby. Both mom and grandma noticed this brand new beautiful baby doesn't seem to like wearing any clothes. To snap her first official baby photo, she was put in a sizes-too-big onesie and laid on the bed. Her tiny foot sticks out between two of the snap closures. Is this baby already showing signs of being "highly sensitive"? Time will tell.
A family member who had her first baby over 30 years ago: his issue was nonstop crying for his first several months of life. The only "trick" that worked to calm him was jerry-rigging the top of their clothes dryer and having him "sit" on it in his little makeshift chair when turned on. Between the warmth and the rhythmic movement....he settled down. However, his parents couldn't have him ride the clothes dryer every day and night either. They then switched to rides in the car, which also worked decently enough. Was this baby boy highly sensitive? Of course he was. Turned out that a case of colic was the reason why that baby had such a rough time for the first several months of his life. You'd be highly sensitive too if every time you swallowed breast milk and/or formula---it ended up killing your insides!
I have had clients over the past 23 years share their various experiences with being "highly sensitive". "I can feel any pill go down my throat and into my stomach.." "I can't take most over the counter medications; they do a horrible number on my gut..." "Can you turn off the light in here?" "Can you turn off that fan?" "Do you mind closing the blinds?" "Oh, I don't know I obviously wore the wrong sweater here today! It's scratching me like crazy!" "What was that?! (unexpected noise)" "The inside of my mouth tastes like metal for some reason..." "Do you smell that right now?" etc. etc. etc.
Yep, when it comes to our sensitivities....we all have them, but certainly to varying degrees. I recall as a young bride asking a friend if they had any dietary restrictions as we had invited she and her husband over for dinner that coming weekend. Her response still cracks me up to this day: "Oh, he's o.k. but he won't eat anything green." Well, thanks for the heads up!
No two people are going to have the exact same types or degrees of sensitivities. I can't take penicillin or codeine. I am allergic to both of these substances. If I take either, I go into anaphylactic shock. Who knew? Well, I found out when I was given Tylenol #3 after getting my wisdom teeth removed and nearly died. But hey---at least I found out.
If you have noticed, I have focused the discussion so far on physiological-based high sensitivities: what we see, hear, smell, taste, and touch---and the uncomfortable sensations we feel inside ourselves when triggered.
So what about psychological/emotional-based issues; how do these affect a person of highly sensitive person status? High sensitives feel things more deeply; as the singer Alanis Morissette said in the documentary "Sensitive", her high sensitives are always in the front rows of her concerts and singing every single word right along with Alanis at the tops of their lungs. In this way, being highly sensitive can represent one heck of a superpower: more compassion, more empathy, more ability to "read" the room. Yet highly sensitive people are also able to over-identify with and/or absorb other people's emotions, which can become exhausting over time. Needless to say, high sensitives require their down time, once their own threshold of people-ing has been reached. Double that if the highly sensitive person is living within a family/family system where emotional instability and/or volatility is present more often than not. Perhaps this will help some understand what motivates many kids and teens to prefer spending time ALONE in their bedrooms/basements/garages/outdoors over any other room in the house....
In my work with highly sensitive clients, I have to be mindful that these lovely and caring people are also vulnerable to misinterpreting exchanges of information between us when he/she/they are stressed out/depressed and/or otherwise having an overwhelming kind of day. This issue is obviously exacerbated when the highly sensitive person has a pre-existing mood and/or personality disorder. When HSP status is co-morbid with other issues such as ADHD and PTSD, it can be confused with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) to the untrained eye. In that case, being seen for a full psychiatric evaluation would be recommended....
If you want to explore this topic of the Highly Sensitive Person, there is a book which was written by a psychologist who, herself, wondered about her own high sensitivities and began to research the topic. Dr. Elain Aron is the author of "The Highly Sensitive Person" and other books related to HSP status. Available through most libraries or by ordering for free through www.mel.org---Aron's books will help anyone who is interested in this topic.
Until next post...