Communication IS the Key!

Anyone who has read my blog may have noticed the sidelined commentary about "What Would Be Your Sentence?"  When I first came up with that one many MANY years ago...I was amazed how many clients had no idea what their sentence would actually be.  When this occurs, that signals to me how these individuals have one or more issues to do with their own ability to effectively communicate. 

 After all, if we don't know enough about "who" we are exactly...how can we expect to impart this vitally important information to others in a comfortable and concise manner?  We can't, that how!  Today's blog post is about learning how to find yourself in the midst of your life, regardless of how good or bad, busy or dead, depressing or exciting you believe your own real life actually is!

So, before you continue to read today's post, go back and read "What Would Be Your Sentence?" appearing just to the right of this very page!  ;-)

Well....did you figure out what your sentence would be?  Why or why not?  If you felt more confused by my request than anything else...that tells me that you think too much about what other's think.  That's it.  Bottom line.  Yes, you may have undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and whatever other label you want to potentially attach to yourself...but I'm cutting through the muck here just for you today!  You THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER'S THINK!  

That's how it is with "confusion".  We can't decide what it is we need to say or do in order to self-advocate in a timely, clearly understood, and comfortable manner!  And if I am worrying more about what YOU think, how am I going to clarify for myself exactly what I think?  You follow me?  I hope so!  Anybody can learn to say what they mean, mean what they say, and not say it mean to the right person at the right time.  Yet when we are so easily "confused" by what others ask us or say to us, we DO have a problem with thinking too much about what other's think!

If you felt more "shocked" by my request than anything else, that tells me that you think too much about "imagined" fear(s) and, as a  result, attach too much "worry" to your mental plate of incoming thoughts and associated feelings.  After all, think about that!  Why is asking a question of any kind going to instantly throw a person into a feeling of shock?  No question need ever be too shocking!  Unless someone said to me, "Answer me NOW or I will chop your head off!", I am NOT shocked by what anyone asks me o.k.? Being too easily shocked speaks to the issue of anxiety which, by definition, is "Imagined Fear + Worry = Anxiety".  Now think about that!

Lastly, what if you felt instantly "angry" by my request?  Anger signifies a short and recent (and/or long and unending!) history with being a true victim of real or imagined true injustice.  Why else would we be able to becom angry so quickly?  Nothing and nobody has that power, unless our difficult and/or traumatic past remains unresolved and rampant triggers mess with our present-day lives!?  Think about that for more than a minute if you can!  I know I have triggered individuals for the negative just because I am tall and with a deep voice as a female therapist!  DOH!  That's unresolved anger talking when that happens just sayin'!

It is true that we all get to choose how much truth we can stand.  If you feel instantly confused, shocked, or angry by what is said or asked of you directly...you really DO need to look at "why" that keeps happening!  As you can see, the answers are presented here for your consideration in today's post!  

It isn't magic that will get you better in terms of improving your communication skills.  It isn't calling the psychic hotline to have Madam Boulsheet tell you exactly what you want to hear.  Neither is it about any other ritualistic behavior that you believe will clear out the bad energy from your life.

It's about facing your own uncomfortable realities and doing your work to function as a more effective communicator with EVERY-one!  Not just some, but EVERY-ONE!

Call me.  I can help you.  I hate witnessing people continuing to re-abuse and/or neglect themselves in the name of confusion, shock, and anger creeping into their own communication style!  

Until, next post....

 

The Trances People Live...

Decades ago, there was a book literally entitled "Trances People Live".  At the time, I had no idea what the heck that was supposed to mean, but I got the book anyway.  Since then, I have to wonder how many books need to be written and published until humanity understands that the TRUTH of our lives and how we most commonly mentally cope with past trauma has been presented to us repeatedly throughout our lives---and centuries for that matter!

Being in a "trance" by the way is what we now refer to as a "dissociative episode".  I've written about this before in past blog posts, but it's when we can just "check out" mentally and instantly whenever and wherever we are.  We all did it as kids in the classroom;  this is NOT an unfamiliar experience for any human being.  As the most common form of "checking out" from reality on demand, nothing beats a dissociative episode on demand!  Trauma history aside, dissociating is a go-to strategy when we don't want to be experiencing the "now" moments of our own lives.

Dissociative episodes, or "the trances people live", are used as a coping tool when we don't want to be present mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually in our own present moments.  When people get good at dissociation-on-demand, they can literally lose chunks of time (and therefore memory!) as to "what happened" around them while they were dissociating.  As such, when we dissociate often enough, is it any wonder how we end up "not remembering" much of certain chunks from our past?    

Common sense, right?  If my mind is somewhere else even though my body is right here and right now...how can I be aware of both my current mental AND physical reality at the same time?  I cannot.  This is why so many of us report to each other, "I don't remember much about my life between the ages of blah-and-blah."  "I can't remember anything before I was adopted."  "I don't know what happened.  She was fine and the next thing I know she was dead."  

Yeah, it can be like that too.  Even perpetrators of violent crimes have an end-point as to what they "remember" about the crimes they commit .  "I don't know what happened, but I know I DIDN'T DO IT!"  Okay then!  That is how it can be with dissociation and the trances we live.  We are "there" doing whatever it is we are doing, but we are "not there" at the very same time.  Ask anyone who has been a victim of a violent crime.  They will NOT say to you, "Oh yes, and then we started talking about my job as he was choking the life out of me..."  No, it doesn't go down like that.  What we who have worked with both criminals and victims alike most often hear is along the lines of, "She wasn't looking at me, but past me as she pointed the gun at me." "It was like he was a robot or something.  No eye contact, nothing."  "He was attacking me, but he never said a word the whole time like he was somewhere else."  Yep, that's right.  A trance.  That about sums it up.

Dissociation is not unlike denial in that it was initially designed as a shock absorber for the soul.  I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't want to be "present" mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically as someone is hurting me in ways I NEVER want to remember down the road!  For example, when I work with clients going through difficult divorces, I often hear, "I don't know!"  "I don't remember!"  "Why are you asking me so many questions?"  I understand these responses, but the clients often do not.  Nobody wants to have to dredge back up from the pit memories of incidents they'd much rather forget for the rest of their natural lives.  However, when dissociation and dissociative episodes becomes a lifestyle, our lives do get reduced down to...the trances we live.

Getting help and getting better is possible.  Of course it is.  Instead of dissociating-on-demand as a lifestyle, we can truly reintegrate ourselves into real life and right now experiences, no matter how challenging they may be, without living in a constant state of imagined fear + worry combined.  After all, isn't it that imagined fear which drives this train of dissociation as a go-to coping tool?  That and other executive function deficits, I should clarify!  (Things such as undiagnosed and untreated ADHD as the #1 "complicating factor" which makes dissociation more of a trusted friend than adversary!)  Also, since we are primarily codependent as people anyway, who doesn't want to avoid personal responsibility when the opportunity exists to do so?  Isn't it much easier to just dissociate and live in our trance states than actually face our genuine problem(s) and then do the right thing(s) to solve them?  Yes, it is!  Avoiding personal responsibility is what consistently leads us to the "easier" way out from under those rocks we find ourselves being suffocated by!

The book, though now over 30 years old, is as relevant today as it was then.  Entitled "Trances People Live" by Dr. Stephen Wolinsky, it is available at most public libraries.  

Boomer Doomer...or Not? The Dreaded "R" Word!

When people reach a certain age, conversations tend to gravitate towards the "R" word:  retirement.  Grant it, I had imagined in this day and age (2022) that  none of us would be as fixated on this "Do I?" or "Don't I?" as we may have been in decades past.  After all, nobody "has" to retire just because they have worked for 30 or more years.  On the other hand, reality is still reality.  Out with the old and in with the new.  That's the way it's always been.  I just wish more people who have actually chosen to retire would do so considering the actual reality of their present lives!  Not everyone evaluates their own retirement-related options thoughtfully enough in light of their own present-day realities!  Today's blog post is about how "retirement" can be the worst decision when it represents the beginning of the end, OR the best decision when it represents a brand new beginning!

"Sandy" has worked since she was 15 years old.  She is an educated woman who has a bachelor's degree in English.  Sandy found out shortly after she graduated that jobs requiring an "English major" as a requirement were few and far between.  "I don't know what I was thinking at the time", says Sandy.  "I didn't want to be an English teacher...it's just that I really liked learning about and studying the English language!"  As it turned out, Sandy found a job as a legal secretary and, after a few years, she went back to school to become a court stenographer.  "At that time, school was quite expensive, but the program wasn't very long and I knew I could earn upwards of $50,000 a year once I graduated."  As it turned out, this was Sandy's primary career until her retirement in November of 2019.  "I worked for over 30 years in a field that I did genuinely enjoy, but once Covid hit, that was it.  I knew I was done and would never go back to that same field in any capacity."

Since Sandy has been home and "retired" for the past 2.5 years, she has seriously considered finding something "else" to do career-wise to get her out of the house.  "Nobody knows how boring it can be at home all day once you run out of home-improvement projects", Sandy claims.  Still in decent health, Sandy came to see me after she found herself ruminating about whether or not she was losing ground mental-health wise....or if, in fact, she was living in a life of genuinely limited options for a woman of her age.  

"June" is a wife, mother, and grandmother of six.  June worked part time over the course of  25 years as a para pro in a special education classroom;  however, ill health forced her to stop working about four years ago.  "I loved working, but my body stopped cooperating with my mind", June admits.  As her physical limitations forced her to quit her job, June found her social life dwindling also.  "As soon as I wasn't able to physically get up and go like I used to, the phone eventually stopped ringing and my friendships basically dried up."  For June, who now requires extra help to pursue her own activities of daily living, life has definitely narrowed down to a series of predictable routines on any given day.  "If it wasn't for my husband and the network of people who come here to help me each day", says June, "I'd have to move into a long-term care facility."  June is hoping to find something she can do on the computer as both a form of therapy---and a way to earn extra money.  "My mind is fine, it's my body that isn't anymore."

"Phil" always worked.  "Since I was 12!", states Phil.  Now 83, Phil hasn't yet officially retired, but sees how things have changed dramatically for him over the past 20 years or so.  "People used to come in my business and could sit and talk with me all day long if I let them," Phil reports.  "Now, if I get one or two old timers who I know come out to see me once in a month, it feels like my birthday."  Phil misses the inflow of customers...and friends...all of which decreased sharply since Covid.  "I had some friends die from Covid.  Others went into assisted living.  My business is way down, though I still have to pay all the bills just like I did for the past 20 years", says Phil.  "I don't have any idea what's coming up next, that's for sure."

For all three of these folks, remaining relevant and feeling useful is a huge deal.  Not just kind of a huge deal, but a legitimate huge deal.  Each are also in the stage and phase of life where we often ask ourselves, "What have I done with my life?  What else is there left to achieve in my life?  Did my life have any significance or meaning in the bigger scheme of things?"

For many people, we don't think about "What's next for me?" until we have to.  People take their health for granted...their minds for granted...and/or the people in their lives for granted.  If ever there was a time to STOP! and THINK! about what's next---anyone closing in on "retirement age" needs to do that sooner than later!

It is never too late to reinvent ourselves.  As long as we draw breath, we can be of good use to some person, some cause, some organization, and/or some group to which we affiliate ourselves.  With the three individuals mentioned in today's post, "Sandy" plugged herself into "Meet Up" online while also accepting a part-time job in her local community.  "I picked a business that I shop at anyway, and the fit was perfect for me. I don't work more than 20 hours a week, so it really doesn't even feel like work when I'm there."  As for the Meet up app, "I didn't want to do it at first.  I felt ridiculous.  Then I thought, well, if I don't do something I'm just going to sit at home anyway...so I might as well try it."  Once Sandy tried it, she met another woman at her first outing who has since become a dear friend.  "I didn't expect to meet or find Prince Charming, but having a lovely friend come out of my efforts made it all worth going.  Now we to go events together which makes it even more fun."

June found her niche with online work.  "I can't be on my feet for too long...but I can't just sit around for hours on end either.  With my job, I can work when I want and just know when to get up and take a break...and for how long...before I get back to it."  June also works about 20 hours a week, which has been an effective way to feel good about herself and her own contribution.  "I am working for a group whose clients are special needs individuals and their families.  So for me, it's a win-win."  June's husband has been happy to see the change in June since she started working online.  "I know this may sound over the top, but June has really blossomed since she got back to doing something where she's needed by other people."  No kidding.  Isn't that what most people want?  To be needed and have their contribution(s) matter!

As for Phil, he eventually decided to shut up shop and make the move to New Mexico, where his only son lives with his family.  "They know I'm coming out in October, so we are on the hunt now for a little apartment in his immediate area", says Phil.  "I don't know what the future holds, but it's o.k. whatever it is."

Whatever it is....we can look forward to it when our thinking and our attitude are aligned in a positive direction.  Nobody owes us a good moment, day, or life.  We owe that to ourselves.  When we make gratitude our closest companion, we WILL be fine no matter what our age!  ;-)

Until next post....

Live by the Sword...and Expect Great Results?!

I was flipping through my cable station options this morning and saw there is a new show on Roku entitled "Immoral Compass".  Geez, I wonder what that will be about?  (NOT!)  

Even though doing whatever we want whenever we want is SO tempting....anyone who has done these things already understands the price(s) we pay for making such choices.  Of course, we may not notice that price we pay until weeks, months, or even decades after the fact...but there is always and I do mean ALWAYS a price to pay that we didn't expect to pay when "immorality" and/or the "feel good" way is our jam.

Living by the sword is a way of saying that what we are doing is "dangerous" enough to take us down and out if we don't straighten ourselves out sooner than later! 

Do you think that the first time someone snorted some "H" (heroin) that they were thinking about "Oh oh!  This stuff has the power to make me feel SO sick once my body gets used to it...that I will only take it at that point for the purpose of not feeling like I am about to die!"  NO, people do not "think" about that price they will certainly pay in the future when dabbling with powerfully addictive narcotics.  At first, heroin and their opioid counterparts make users feel like "Everything is beautiful!" and "pure love" surrounds them in all directions.  I have had heroin addicts repeatedly tell me "It's like you are one with God;  all you feel is love love love surrounding you everywhere!"  Until that script flips on you and heroin or opioid use feels more like being one with the devil with feeling sick unto death is all that surrounds you.

When I worked in an inpatient chemical dependency unit, I did have some brave clients tell me how "detoxing" was, for them, used exclusively for the purpose of cleaning up their bodies from the inside out...so that when they were discharged from our unit, they could recapture that "first high" feeling of their drug(s) of choice when using for the first time (again!) post-rehab.  Wow.  Who knew eh?  They did...and I learned.  Such a cycle among certain addicts who repeatedly bounce in and out of rehab may sound ludicrous, but remind me how many times addicts typically enter/exist rehab before sobriety (or death!) sticks?  Google it.  You'll amaze yourself.

Did you think Anne Heche (the actor who just died last week from driving while under the influence of narcotics) thought she would leave the store, after buying herself a red wig, only to crash her car into a random house and set herself and her car on fire?  No, she did not.  Sadly, she did not notice or recognize the risk associated with doing whatever she wanted whenever she wanted without regard for her personal safety.  Bad decision.  Now she has two sons whose lives are forever altered because their beautiful and vibrant "mom" was taken out at the young age of 53.  I bet if she could come back now, she'd make those kids promise NEVER to make light of the horrifying and permanent impact that drug use and poor choices can have on one's mind, body, and spirit! 

To believe one can live by the sword of increasingly immoral and risky choices and come out of such a lifestyle unscathed...is probably the biggest lie and form of self-deception there is among us humans.  To me, that's like food handlers in a manufacturing plant going into work each day after they just used their own hands as toilet paper!  What the...??!  I know, I tend to lean towards the dramatic when using anaolgy to prove my point.  Yet it is what it is.  A person cannot be or live "dirty" and then expect "clean" results!  It doesn't work that way.  Nothing works that way!

Whatever getting clean means to you in your own life, there's no time like the present to start your own good work in this regard.  Cleaning up your act begins by recognizing what it is that you ARE or ARE NOT doing that puts you smack in the middle of this "living by the sword" lifestyle.  What are you avoiding being responsible for...that in truth, you ARE personally responsible for?  What are you chasing after to make yourself feel powerful...or feel "pleasured" on an "on demand" ongoing basis?  What are you doing to wreck yourself...or others you say you love and care about...because you can't think or see past your own nose of envy/greed/gluttony/pride/anger/laziness and/or lust?

Time to start working on achieving better results!  If you need help for that as part of your own personal journey towards freedom, you know how to reach me---or someone else equally qualified and licensed to help you.

Today really can and does represent the first day of a whole new life...when you choose it!

Until next post....

At What Cost "Convenience"?

I happen to be on a local Next Door app.  Generally, it's a decent way to find out what's going on in your immediate neighborhood.....or at least the area surrounding your home and/or office.  Others use it to ask questions, not unlike how some other social media platforms operate. "Does anyone know a reputable plumber?  We are new to the area!"  What I like is a local woman recently started a womens' group for those interested in networking with other ladies from the area.  Post covid, I think this idea is and remains genius.  Already there are nearly 200 members in the group and there are several gatherings being planned weekly.  All it takes is some imagination and the ingenuity to make it happen...and so it has!

Yet---there are also those posts that make you want to go "Hmmmmmmm??!?!?" because they involve the interactions between scammers (con artists) and their pidgeons (that would be you and me!).  Some of the posts I have been viewing in recent weeks seem surreal.  Reading them reminds me when my aunt would receive unsolicited phone calls from these scammers and then she'd end up saying to the caller, "Guess how old I am?"  (Forgetting that he or she couldn't see her face of course!)  Then she'd tell the person on the other end of the line how she was 90 years old---and how she "knew" she didn't sound 90 years old---and how she was married for blah blah years to my uncle.  Man, if ever there was a strategy to get RID of a phone scammer, she had it down!  They usually hung up on her before she did!  That was my aunt...always workin' whatever opportunity she found herself unexpectedly thrown into (LOL!).

Unlike my aunt, too many of us these days are willing to throw ourselves under the bus in the name of "convenience".  Lately, there have been young people knocking on doors in different neighborhoods selling pest control services, gutter cleaning services, junk hauling, etc.  One poor woman posted that she gave one of these people close to a thousand dollars...and is now "surprised" he only did half the work on project #1 before bouncing out of her life for good.  I sincerely do not know what she was thinking by agreeing to work with this person who she did NOT know from Adam---but she did.  Now if she pursues restitution legally, good luck with the time, effort, and expense it will take to sue him in small claims court---even if a judgment is made in her favor.  After all, scammers know one cannot squeeze any dough out of drained and dried up turnips these days!  

So why do we do it?  Why are we so invested in believing these "too good to be true" sales pitches?  I believe, as I started out today's blog post, that the promise of "conveniently" solving our problem quickly is the key.  Plus, greed does play a  part as well.  How can I say that?  I can say that because we all struggle with wanting the most for the least personal expenditure to ourselves.  Doesn't matter if what we lust after is tangible or intangible;  if we can get it for the least effort and/or financial outlay on our part---we will go for it.  Sad, but true.

At what cost convenience?  Please think about that as you navigate your way through your relationships this year.  Why are you still involved with......???  Isn't he the guy---or isn't she the woman----who has made pretty darn sure that YOU primarily "give" more than you "receive" from them as part of your relationship?  Listen, this convenience thing cuts both ways.  Some of us genuinely believe that it is MORE convenient for us to serve as someone else's "slave" (because there really is no other way to put it!) and/or "martyr" because WE ARE ADDICTED TO BEING "NEEDED" by certain people in certain of our relationships!  When we are like this, it IS convenient for us to not have to think about much else other than "WHAT DOES XXXX WANT OR NEED FROM ME TODAY?!?"  "HOW CAN I MAKE XXX's LIFE EASIER TODAY BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE CAN DO WHAT I DO FOR XXX!"  Oh puleeze!

In the above-mentioned scenario, our addiction to being needed by our chosen "person" or persons of choice can definitely be and become an all-consuming way of life that we don't really even "notice" until we are kicked to the curb!  And why would we get kicked to the curb?  Because when our "person" or persons find someone else to replace us who does NOT know all their secrets like we do, it IS a very appealing offer to start over again with someone new!  Why wouldn't it be?  We are talking about that toxic codependent relationship lifestyle at work here after all!  

I don't know about you, but after nearly 20 years of watching codependent relationships on blast in my practice---when we pursue a "do over" with a new person (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, best friend, etc.)...it takes about a year before we "notice" that our new person isn't so perfect after all!  :-P

Whether we say anything about what we notice...or not...is of course up to each individual involved.  Most do not though. Most keep their mouths shut when they are codependent enough and can actually end up creating a pattern of this curb kicking practice until....until they die!

Yep, it can go that way also!

Needless to say, the next time you are thinking about doing the "easy" thing (which translates into the CONVENIENT thing!)...think about what the cost will be to YOU for just going with the flow when you already know things are JUST NOT RIGHT BETWEEN US in the first place!

No problem ever got solved, ever got resolved, and/or ever got dissolved because nobody did the right thing(s) to change things!  Remember, when life is hard, you HAVE to change!  Not him...not her..and not that person over there. YOU have to change!  

So think about changing your core beliefs about the importance of "convenience" and "doing this the easy way" in your life from this moment on...

Until next post...

See What Your Condition Your (Spiritual!) Condition is in...

There was a song in the late 60s entitled "Just Dropped In".  The tag line/lyric to follow was this:  "to see what condition my condition was in."  This song was the first top ten hit for country music legend Kenny Rogers, if you can believe that.  Before he was the"Kenny" of country music superstardom, Rogers had long brown hair, a beard, and was the lead singer in a rock band.  Back then, his band was called "The First Edition".  Check them out on youtube if you are so inclined.  The only way I was able to identify Kenny from that era was by his voice, no kidding.

Back to their song and the focus of today's blog post.  As Kenny pondered in "Just Dropped In" 54 years ago, what condition is YOUR (spiritual) condition in---today?  Although the song itself addresses the negative consequences of drug use (specifically LSD) on one's soul, it seems to me that present-day humanity is losing more and more interest in not only "seeing", but in even recognizing that they have a "condition" worth noticing in the first place!

I understand completely how easy it is to ignore our own spiritual condition over time.  As kids, we do what we are told.  Some kids are fortunate enough to have a home life that does appropriately reflect the spiritual teachings of their parent(s)' chosen spiritual world view.  These kids, IMHO, are the lucky ones.  What they learn in at their Kingdom Hall, their mosque, their church, their temple, and/or their synagogue IS practiced at home on a consistent and daily basis.  Unfortunately, not all parents take on this awesome responsibility.  Instead, they end up teaching their child(ren) how easy it is to say one thing and do another---how easy it is to be a hypocrite---and certainly how easy it is to "blame" anyone and anything (including God as He/She/They are perceived) when life is hard.  

Why would anyone grow up to be interested or concerned about their own condition....and what condition their condition is in "now"....when most of what they learned from the people around them is to do whatever you want to do anyway, because life is truly meaningless---and there is NO real purpose for any of us being here in the first place?!

I don't have to remind you how senseless and desensitized America has become generally speaking with each passing generation.  Even though all the "bad stuff" we read about today did actually happen not just in recent years...or a hundred years ago...but thousands of years ago also!  Nothing illegal, immoral, or unethical among humanity is new under the sun.  After all, if we refuse to understand the point of being good while we are here on earth, then doesn't it follow that we will come to believe that being good has no point?  Our condition we "think" and want to "believe" we are in...is actually a condition we more than likely lost a long time ago due to influences around us AND our own self-serving choices!

One of my former clients told me about a man he had done business with decades ago.  I had to laugh when my client told me at the time, "That guy was so crooked, they'll have to screw him into the ground when they bury him!"  After hearing about all that this man had done to my client and others who tried purchasing several parcels from this "gentleman farmer's" vast property...I was SHOCKED to find out this particular crook was never convicted for his various and assorted transgressions!  When I found his obituary online and read it to my client, my client rolled his eyes and said "Typical!"  Yes, it IS typical when a person is painted in one kind of way for his family and friends...but in reality did everything another kind of way in business-related pursuits.  As I know one (now deceased) business owner told me in my early 20's, "Listen Mary, everyone in business is a crook."  When I said I wasn't a crook and yet I owned my own business, his response was this:  "You'll learn."  Yes, I agree...I did learn, but it was because I never lost sight of what condition my own condition was in---on any given day!

Seeing what condition your condition is in is not so complicated.  You may not think of yourself as a "spiritual" being, but you are.  We all are.  We may recognize hints of our spirituality when we take a look around the creation that surrounds us.  Watching a baby bird being fed by its mother....a butterfly emerging from its cocoon....the color of the sky and the clouds on a beautiful summer's day.  The world we inhabit is too amazingly awesome and too structured to be the result of random acts of order created from the chaos that some believe came into existence after millions of years.  One great book to read on this topic is "Evidence That Demands a Verdict" by Josh McDowell.  

Our spiritual condition is something that has the power to help heal us...or harden us when we continue to age out.  If you have never thought about this issue...or have been hardened by the experiences of your own life (while looking to blame "God" and/or "The Universe" for it!)...try picking up a copy of "The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood" by Wayne Mueller as a start.  It is not a book designed to convert you to a particular religious dogma or "brand" of faith-based belief.  It is a book to help set you free from the chains that have bound you up in your own chronic feelings of hurt, anger, shame, guilt, loneliness, and confusion.  

After all, religion is for those who are afraid of going to Hell...while spirituality is for those who have already been there.

Until next post...