M. Scott Peck once wrote "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." When I first read that, I had no clue what he meant. Pain is going to happen no matter what I do to try and prevent it or control it...but suffering as a result of any pain I experience is a choice? Really?! How does that work? Doesn't one kinda go with the other like a hand and its fingers? As you can see, I really didn't have a clue as to what he meant.
But now I do. About 25 years later I do that is. How come it took me so long? Because not unlike so many of you reading this blog at this moment, I never thought of my "suffering" as something I had control over. I thought it just happened and there was not a damn thing I could do about it one way or the other. Like how to you "stop" crying once you start? How do you "stop" feeling like you are going to die if you do (feel that way)? How do you stop listening to that still small voice inside your head that implores you: "Go ahead, what ELSE are you going to do that works this well?"
Suffering with a twist is the topic of my blog today. You see, suffering isn't always something that happens "to" you. Many times, suffering is like a old familiar face that we don't necessarily like or want to see, but have grown very used to. You know, that whole thing about the hell you know being better than the hell you don't know. It's like that. Suffering occurs many times because of what we, ourselves, CHOOSE to do without thinking twice about it.
For example, if I choose to pull an all nighter because I'm in college and my PAPERISDUEINTHEMORNINGFORGOD'SSAKE!........does anyone NOT think I will have some "suffering" coming down the pike to accompany this choice of mine? (A) I will be tired that next morning, (B) I will be more irritable than normal because that's what a lack of sleep does to a person anyway, (C) I will tend to make more "mistakes" than normal because that's also what a lack of sleep does to a person anyway...and on and on I can go. Of course I can rationalize my choice about "why" I had to stay up all night in order to finish my paper---but in the end, my choice has a consequence. Good, bad, or otherwise. Every choice has a consequence. Good, bad, or otherwise. And often when the consequence is "negative" in nature, it leads to some form or another of "suffering".
I have met people many times in my life who, after a while, sound like one big circular argument in justifying their courtship with suffering. "But I love him...and even though he hits me...and even though he drives when he's drunk and our kids are in the car with him...I could never abandon him (Really? Please refer to past post on topic of "Fear of Abandonment"!)...so I guess I will just have to plan for hospitalization #36 when he breaks my nose the next time...but I love him....and even though he hits me..." See what I mean? It's like a circle that never ends...along with the suffering!
In the end, we ALL have control over the choices we make. If you CHOOSE to treat your suffering like a comfortable familiar straight jacket...that IS your choice. Not mine. Not anyone else's. But yours. Yet if you choose to treat your suffering for what it is (a consequence associated with certain realities that you may or may not be consciously aware of) and as a challenge to be overcome with time, practice, and self-patience...you WILL eventually set yourself free (or free enough at least!) from the bondage and cycle of suffering.
Do something nice for yourself this year and learn what it takes to get off the rollercoaster of literal and figurative suffering. You can do it. I have faith in you...and in the process to help you accomplish it!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Which Fear Are You?...Now What?!
In my last post I talked about the three "core" fears anyone in this life struggles with to some extent or another. Ultimately, every person on the planet has "one" of these three core fears that, to put it bluntly, freaks them out the most more than any other. Once you have identified which "fear" you are...now you can begin the process of collapsing that fear so it no longer impacts your irrational thoughts, associated feelings, and dysfunctional behaviors to the extent it once did.
Yes, that's right. I said "so it no longer impacts your IRRATIONAL thoughts, ASSOCIATED feelings, and DYSFUNCTIONAL behaviors to the extent it once did". You see, your core fear is a funny thing. It's not like you go around in life saying to people, "Hi, I'm Mary and my core fear is fear of abandonment...SO NEVER LEAVE ME o.k.?" Of course we don't. Nor do we introduce ourselves socially by confessing, "Hi. I know how to play nice and give you what you want within reason...but you better not mistake me for Jesus or I'm outta here!" No, we don't exactly do that either. Lastly, for the folks who literally fear death/nihilation the most, do you think they walk through life warning, "Hey...I'm all about using you up like a tube of toothpaste so long as you make me feel alive!"
What we DO do is come up with all kinds of irrational thoughts ("If I want to befriend someone, they can't ever leave me." "If someone needs me, they can't need me too much or I'll have to dump them." and lastly, "People are a lot like drugs; they can make you feel better fast until they don't work anymore!")...associated feelings ("This feels like I'm going to die being alone like this!" "I feel like I'm being eaten alive here!" and lastly, "Well, the novelty has worn off this one...time for a new playmate!")....and dysfunctional behavior(s) (Calling up your "new" friend 20 times until they pick up their phone; putting up with a physically abusive spouse; putting up with that needy and never-able-to-reciprocate friend, etc. etc. Conversely, fear of engulfment folks may not "notice" how they cut people off, aren't willing to talk through differences, and/or are just "fine thank you very much" being alone much of the time. Lastly, the fear of death/nihilation posse who can't ever run quite fast enough, or party hard enough, or be philanthropic enough to outwit death when it finally comes...
At this juncture, I hope you are making some connections as to how your own thoughts, rooted in your core fear, can and do lead to feelings and behaviors that ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU! Besides that, these same thoughts, feelings, and behaviors ARE NOT GOOD FOR OTHERS EITHER! Do you get that? Good! Now it's time to get rolling and make some positive changes that last!
One day at a time...one challenge at a time. If Rome wasn't built in a day, how come you have to get "fixed" and "be" better by tomorrow? Quit being so hard on yourself! How about getting into therapy with a qualified and LICENSED practitioner who can authentically help you journey your way through the healing and recovery process? Believe me, I've worked with enough individuals to know when I do my job---and you do your job---you WILL heal, positively change, and grow.
In the meantime, when you find yourself thinking about your thinking...please don't automatically assume that what you think does in no way STINK. Because often times, it does!
Yes, that's right. I said "so it no longer impacts your IRRATIONAL thoughts, ASSOCIATED feelings, and DYSFUNCTIONAL behaviors to the extent it once did". You see, your core fear is a funny thing. It's not like you go around in life saying to people, "Hi, I'm Mary and my core fear is fear of abandonment...SO NEVER LEAVE ME o.k.?" Of course we don't. Nor do we introduce ourselves socially by confessing, "Hi. I know how to play nice and give you what you want within reason...but you better not mistake me for Jesus or I'm outta here!" No, we don't exactly do that either. Lastly, for the folks who literally fear death/nihilation the most, do you think they walk through life warning, "Hey...I'm all about using you up like a tube of toothpaste so long as you make me feel alive!"
What we DO do is come up with all kinds of irrational thoughts ("If I want to befriend someone, they can't ever leave me." "If someone needs me, they can't need me too much or I'll have to dump them." and lastly, "People are a lot like drugs; they can make you feel better fast until they don't work anymore!")...associated feelings ("This feels like I'm going to die being alone like this!" "I feel like I'm being eaten alive here!" and lastly, "Well, the novelty has worn off this one...time for a new playmate!")....and dysfunctional behavior(s) (Calling up your "new" friend 20 times until they pick up their phone; putting up with a physically abusive spouse; putting up with that needy and never-able-to-reciprocate friend, etc. etc. Conversely, fear of engulfment folks may not "notice" how they cut people off, aren't willing to talk through differences, and/or are just "fine thank you very much" being alone much of the time. Lastly, the fear of death/nihilation posse who can't ever run quite fast enough, or party hard enough, or be philanthropic enough to outwit death when it finally comes...
At this juncture, I hope you are making some connections as to how your own thoughts, rooted in your core fear, can and do lead to feelings and behaviors that ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU! Besides that, these same thoughts, feelings, and behaviors ARE NOT GOOD FOR OTHERS EITHER! Do you get that? Good! Now it's time to get rolling and make some positive changes that last!
One day at a time...one challenge at a time. If Rome wasn't built in a day, how come you have to get "fixed" and "be" better by tomorrow? Quit being so hard on yourself! How about getting into therapy with a qualified and LICENSED practitioner who can authentically help you journey your way through the healing and recovery process? Believe me, I've worked with enough individuals to know when I do my job---and you do your job---you WILL heal, positively change, and grow.
In the meantime, when you find yourself thinking about your thinking...please don't automatically assume that what you think does in no way STINK. Because often times, it does!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Which Fear Are You?....
In my work as a psychotherapist, I often get the opportunity to talk to my clients about fear. As human beings, we all know what it feels like to be afraid. Some of the things that scare us are very obvious to us and we have no problem talking about them. "I hate spiders.." or "I don't do airplanes.." or "I'm claustrophobic.." etc. etc. Yet when it comes down to identifying our "core" fear(s) (of which there are only three to choose from while we're here on earth to experience them!), we usually have no clue about them. I'm here now to help you understand and identify for yourself "Which fear are you?". By doing so, you may be better able to recognize what made you say what you said or do what you did (and often times over and over again) which ultimately hurt you---or those around you.
Imagine I came over to your house tomorrow and said the following: "We're leaving now for the desert. Don't worry, there's a little house for you there that will provide you with all the creature comforts you need for the next year. You'll have everything you need to eat and drink. You'll have a television set to watch and a radio to listen to...but your ability to communicate with another human being will be gone. No visitors, no phone calls, and no internet chat. For one year this will be your life. So...are you ready to go?"
The above scenario represents your first "choice". Here's the second:
"We're still leaving now for the desert and you'll still get your little house out there. Again, everything you need will be made available to you. But coming along with us will be your new best friend (insert name here). Your new BFF will not leave your side throughout the time you are together. Unlike other best friends you may have had during your lifetime or have right now, this new best friend will be all about needing you. Needing you to listen...needing you to provide comfort....needing you to offer advice...just needing you 24/7 for the next year. But hey....at least you won't be alone right? So let's get ready and go!"
Which of the two above-mentioned scenarios "scares" you the most? To be away for a year without another soul to interact with---or to be away for a year with someone who needs you 24/7 in satisfying their own wants and desires?
If you picked the first scenario, your "core" fear has to do with the fear of abandonment. Inothewords, you fear feeling and being left completely alone in this world. Even though you may have a faith-based world view (ie: "God is always with me.."), you need hands and feet to go with your reality. For individuals who struggle with fear of abandonment, we see all kinds of (for lack of a better term) squirrely behaviors to go along with it. People with this fear will pretty much put up with anything in order to just "have someone around"---whether that someone is a friend or a family member or a significant other. There are many other dysfunctional behaviors that go along with the fear of abandonment...but we need to move on.
If you picked the second scenario as most frightening, you are struggling with a fear of engulfment. Fear of engulfment is that feeling of being swallowed up by someone else's needs, wants, and desires. Everything becomes about that other person wanting a piece of you in order to...??? Whatever! To perhaps feel good about themselves....to feel safe....to feel cared for...to feel happy... With this type of relational dynamic, you are being viewed as a "god" in the life of that other person. You are the answer to every question they have---or will ever have. And for you, the thought of being on the receiving end of all that focus and attention is scarier than taking a long walk off a short pier.
For individuals who struggle with the fear of engulfment, a very common behavior we see in psychotherapy has to do with emotional unavailability. If I presume most anyone I get to know "better" will ultimately try to drain me dry or eat me up with their "drama"..., why should I work at developing or maintaining authentic emotional intimacy with them? That would only make things much worse! No, it would be much safer to just keep people at an emotional distance so I don't run the risk of getting them to "want" me or "like" me more than they already think they do!
So...we have fear of abandonment as one "core" fear you may struggle with most in your life---and we have the fear of engulfment as a second "core" fear. Last, but certainly not least, we have the fear of death. Otherwise known as the fear of nihilation.
If you've ever watched the movie "Solitary Man" with Michael Douglas, this movie is all about the fear of death/nihilation. With this particular core fear, people exhibit all kinds of dysfunctional behaviors. At one end of this spectrum is the "save the world/leave an eternal mark on it" kinda folks. At the other end is the "party like a rock star and to hell with what I "gotta" do" kinda folks. In "Solitary Man", Michael Douglas is bent in the way of the rock star...at 60 years old no less.
In therapy, once you know what your core fear is (more than the other two presented here), you become free to identify and work through the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are basically born out of this fear. And once you are able to do that, you are experiencing the process of setting yourself free. Free to live a life that is rooted in reality, peace, joy, and thankfulness for all that you are---and all that you have been given...
Until we meet again..
Imagine I came over to your house tomorrow and said the following: "We're leaving now for the desert. Don't worry, there's a little house for you there that will provide you with all the creature comforts you need for the next year. You'll have everything you need to eat and drink. You'll have a television set to watch and a radio to listen to...but your ability to communicate with another human being will be gone. No visitors, no phone calls, and no internet chat. For one year this will be your life. So...are you ready to go?"
The above scenario represents your first "choice". Here's the second:
"We're still leaving now for the desert and you'll still get your little house out there. Again, everything you need will be made available to you. But coming along with us will be your new best friend (insert name here). Your new BFF will not leave your side throughout the time you are together. Unlike other best friends you may have had during your lifetime or have right now, this new best friend will be all about needing you. Needing you to listen...needing you to provide comfort....needing you to offer advice...just needing you 24/7 for the next year. But hey....at least you won't be alone right? So let's get ready and go!"
Which of the two above-mentioned scenarios "scares" you the most? To be away for a year without another soul to interact with---or to be away for a year with someone who needs you 24/7 in satisfying their own wants and desires?
If you picked the first scenario, your "core" fear has to do with the fear of abandonment. Inothewords, you fear feeling and being left completely alone in this world. Even though you may have a faith-based world view (ie: "God is always with me.."), you need hands and feet to go with your reality. For individuals who struggle with fear of abandonment, we see all kinds of (for lack of a better term) squirrely behaviors to go along with it. People with this fear will pretty much put up with anything in order to just "have someone around"---whether that someone is a friend or a family member or a significant other. There are many other dysfunctional behaviors that go along with the fear of abandonment...but we need to move on.
If you picked the second scenario as most frightening, you are struggling with a fear of engulfment. Fear of engulfment is that feeling of being swallowed up by someone else's needs, wants, and desires. Everything becomes about that other person wanting a piece of you in order to...??? Whatever! To perhaps feel good about themselves....to feel safe....to feel cared for...to feel happy... With this type of relational dynamic, you are being viewed as a "god" in the life of that other person. You are the answer to every question they have---or will ever have. And for you, the thought of being on the receiving end of all that focus and attention is scarier than taking a long walk off a short pier.
For individuals who struggle with the fear of engulfment, a very common behavior we see in psychotherapy has to do with emotional unavailability. If I presume most anyone I get to know "better" will ultimately try to drain me dry or eat me up with their "drama"..., why should I work at developing or maintaining authentic emotional intimacy with them? That would only make things much worse! No, it would be much safer to just keep people at an emotional distance so I don't run the risk of getting them to "want" me or "like" me more than they already think they do!
So...we have fear of abandonment as one "core" fear you may struggle with most in your life---and we have the fear of engulfment as a second "core" fear. Last, but certainly not least, we have the fear of death. Otherwise known as the fear of nihilation.
If you've ever watched the movie "Solitary Man" with Michael Douglas, this movie is all about the fear of death/nihilation. With this particular core fear, people exhibit all kinds of dysfunctional behaviors. At one end of this spectrum is the "save the world/leave an eternal mark on it" kinda folks. At the other end is the "party like a rock star and to hell with what I "gotta" do" kinda folks. In "Solitary Man", Michael Douglas is bent in the way of the rock star...at 60 years old no less.
In therapy, once you know what your core fear is (more than the other two presented here), you become free to identify and work through the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are basically born out of this fear. And once you are able to do that, you are experiencing the process of setting yourself free. Free to live a life that is rooted in reality, peace, joy, and thankfulness for all that you are---and all that you have been given...
Until we meet again..
Monday, March 7, 2011
Where Real Lies...
I saw a church sign yesterday as I was out and about. This is what it said:
"God gave us Real Eyes to Realize Where Real Lies."
Where Real Lies. Now there's an interesting discussion just waiting to happen. In light of my most recent post about Charlie Sheen, he clearly has had a difficult time of late realizing where "real lies" in more ways than the obvious. But then there's the waitress in town who doesn't understand why all men are so "stupid" and abusive. Or the physician who doesn't view his own illegal drug use as "any big deal" because he knows where the "line" is. There are so many of us, everywhere, who have no clue where "Real Lies" in relation to certain aspects of our life and relationships.
Discovering where real lies in your own life can begin quite simply. Just start asking those you love and care about what they think. About you. About your lifestyle choices. About your character. About your offensive and/or disturbing patterns of behavior. Look at it this way: most of us are great at pursuing an "up periscope" relational style. That means we can usually spot all kinds of things we perceive as "wrong" or "unhealthy" in others---because that's just easier to do than looking into the mirror. Now I am NOT suggesting that you talk to one person and that's all you need to do. The key is talking to several of your friends, family, loved ones...and then identify for yourself what "common" issues and/or problems they have brought up to you as a whole.
A great example is the individual who struggles with an eating disorder. How many times do you have to be told you are "way too skinny" and "don't eat enough" before you realize where "real lies" in your own life? Twice? Ten times? A hundred times? Get real with yourself. If more than one important person in your life has said something about your anxiety...or your drinking..or your anger...HELLO! Time to realize with your real eyes what is going on!
Just because time passes and you don't do anything about a problem you are having does NOT mean that problem will eventually fade to black. Reality is not like that. Instead, the reality of how that problem is adversely affecting you(and others!) is always made clear sooner or later.
ADD (Attention deficit disorder) is another great example. Did you know that undiagnosed and untreated ADD or ADHD is one of the three things death row inmates have in common? Yikes! The other two things are an abuse history and brain injury (regardless of how that injury occurred). Wow. Think about that for a minute. What we refuse to look at as potentially harmful or destructive...WILL eventually become harmful and destructive in one way or another.
Just look at Charlie Sheen. And Anna Nicole Smith. And Bernie Madoff. And Aileen Wournos. And the list goes on and on....
Until next time...
"God gave us Real Eyes to Realize Where Real Lies."
Where Real Lies. Now there's an interesting discussion just waiting to happen. In light of my most recent post about Charlie Sheen, he clearly has had a difficult time of late realizing where "real lies" in more ways than the obvious. But then there's the waitress in town who doesn't understand why all men are so "stupid" and abusive. Or the physician who doesn't view his own illegal drug use as "any big deal" because he knows where the "line" is. There are so many of us, everywhere, who have no clue where "Real Lies" in relation to certain aspects of our life and relationships.
Discovering where real lies in your own life can begin quite simply. Just start asking those you love and care about what they think. About you. About your lifestyle choices. About your character. About your offensive and/or disturbing patterns of behavior. Look at it this way: most of us are great at pursuing an "up periscope" relational style. That means we can usually spot all kinds of things we perceive as "wrong" or "unhealthy" in others---because that's just easier to do than looking into the mirror. Now I am NOT suggesting that you talk to one person and that's all you need to do. The key is talking to several of your friends, family, loved ones...and then identify for yourself what "common" issues and/or problems they have brought up to you as a whole.
A great example is the individual who struggles with an eating disorder. How many times do you have to be told you are "way too skinny" and "don't eat enough" before you realize where "real lies" in your own life? Twice? Ten times? A hundred times? Get real with yourself. If more than one important person in your life has said something about your anxiety...or your drinking..or your anger...HELLO! Time to realize with your real eyes what is going on!
Just because time passes and you don't do anything about a problem you are having does NOT mean that problem will eventually fade to black. Reality is not like that. Instead, the reality of how that problem is adversely affecting you(and others!) is always made clear sooner or later.
ADD (Attention deficit disorder) is another great example. Did you know that undiagnosed and untreated ADD or ADHD is one of the three things death row inmates have in common? Yikes! The other two things are an abuse history and brain injury (regardless of how that injury occurred). Wow. Think about that for a minute. What we refuse to look at as potentially harmful or destructive...WILL eventually become harmful and destructive in one way or another.
Just look at Charlie Sheen. And Anna Nicole Smith. And Bernie Madoff. And Aileen Wournos. And the list goes on and on....
Until next time...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Train Wreck Named Charlie Sheen
I wonder what Charlie Sheen said he would grow up to be when he was five or six years old? Do you think he looked his mother or father in the eye and proclaimed, "I want to be a man whore mama!", or better yet, "Hey daddy, can I be a drug addict who can't keep my pants on AND who won't face appropriately dealing with my future major mood disorder?!" Yep, I just can't help but wonder...
For those of you who live under a rock, Charlie Sheen has been in the news a LOT lately. For the reasons mentioned above. And because Charlie himself has been so blinded by his own psychotic delusions (whether they are mood and/or drug induced doesn't really matter at this point!)....it appears that the media has been most focused on exploiting his antics than encouraging him to get proper treatment. I have been waiting for Dr. Drew to show up somewhere along the line and grab Charlie up for a one-on-one interview. But clearly, that hasn't happened yet. After seeing Charlie on air with his "goddesses" (aka gold-digging who knows what the hell they were thinkin' objects)...I seriously thought I was watching Ashton Kutcher's latest episode of Punked! Maybe Dr. Drew realizes that he doesn't want ANY affiliation with this train wreck just in case Charlie tosses himself over Malibu canyon anytime in the next few months.
Please don't misunderstand me. It is my greatest desire that Charlie Sheen get proper help and treatment for his obvious boatload of mental health issues that he has ignored for way WAY too long. What makes me sick is the number of "devotees" that Charlie has and will no doubt continue to attract because he is being glorified for his destructive lifestyle choices. Believe it or not, there ARE way too many men, women, and kids out there who view Charlie as someone actually worth emulating as a modern-day role model! His sexcapades with Heidi Fleiss's stable of hookers going back some years ago to his current household of "goddesses" (one just quit, but he's taking applications to replace her)...his delusional and psychotic rants...his alcohol and drug abuse; what "else" can Charlie do or be about to shock us? He's already actively involved his twin boys in his lifestyle mess by having his "goddesses" babysit them. To say Charlie is a train wreck is being much too kind. What he is IS a horrific example of all that's wrong with achieving the American dream of fame and fortune when your brain doesn't work right in the first place...
I'm sure that for anyone who really "knows" Charlie---they would probably say he's a great guy. Just like Clinton was in his heyday. Charming...knows how to schmooze with both men and women alike. Hello! Have you ever met a sex addict who DOESN'T know how to schmooze? Get real! Everyone in a sex addict's life and world is viewed as an object, period. And as far as the polysubstance abuse goes...I know I'd be guilty and wanting to forget about it too if I caused a whole lotta pain to those around me---but didn't want to look past my own nose in regards to "it" (the pain that is!). Regarding the mental health issues...well, that's a big issue. Seriously why does society STILL view a bipolar disorder diagnosis as something to ignore, stigmatize, and/or be "afraid" of facing and treating in an appropriate manner? I'm NOT suggesting that Charlie is bipolar as I have not personally assessed or treated him; but I can say that "all of this" that we are seeing about him in the media sure reads like a chapter out of the "Hi I'm on a Manic High" handbook!
Living the train wreck lifestyle is never a good choice. If you or someone you care about is reminding you too much of Charlie Sheen, you can do something about it right now. Check yourself before your wreck yourself....unlike what Charlie Sheen has been doing to himself and those closest to him for far too long!
For those of you who live under a rock, Charlie Sheen has been in the news a LOT lately. For the reasons mentioned above. And because Charlie himself has been so blinded by his own psychotic delusions (whether they are mood and/or drug induced doesn't really matter at this point!)....it appears that the media has been most focused on exploiting his antics than encouraging him to get proper treatment. I have been waiting for Dr. Drew to show up somewhere along the line and grab Charlie up for a one-on-one interview. But clearly, that hasn't happened yet. After seeing Charlie on air with his "goddesses" (aka gold-digging who knows what the hell they were thinkin' objects)...I seriously thought I was watching Ashton Kutcher's latest episode of Punked! Maybe Dr. Drew realizes that he doesn't want ANY affiliation with this train wreck just in case Charlie tosses himself over Malibu canyon anytime in the next few months.
Please don't misunderstand me. It is my greatest desire that Charlie Sheen get proper help and treatment for his obvious boatload of mental health issues that he has ignored for way WAY too long. What makes me sick is the number of "devotees" that Charlie has and will no doubt continue to attract because he is being glorified for his destructive lifestyle choices. Believe it or not, there ARE way too many men, women, and kids out there who view Charlie as someone actually worth emulating as a modern-day role model! His sexcapades with Heidi Fleiss's stable of hookers going back some years ago to his current household of "goddesses" (one just quit, but he's taking applications to replace her)...his delusional and psychotic rants...his alcohol and drug abuse; what "else" can Charlie do or be about to shock us? He's already actively involved his twin boys in his lifestyle mess by having his "goddesses" babysit them. To say Charlie is a train wreck is being much too kind. What he is IS a horrific example of all that's wrong with achieving the American dream of fame and fortune when your brain doesn't work right in the first place...
I'm sure that for anyone who really "knows" Charlie---they would probably say he's a great guy. Just like Clinton was in his heyday. Charming...knows how to schmooze with both men and women alike. Hello! Have you ever met a sex addict who DOESN'T know how to schmooze? Get real! Everyone in a sex addict's life and world is viewed as an object, period. And as far as the polysubstance abuse goes...I know I'd be guilty and wanting to forget about it too if I caused a whole lotta pain to those around me---but didn't want to look past my own nose in regards to "it" (the pain that is!). Regarding the mental health issues...well, that's a big issue. Seriously why does society STILL view a bipolar disorder diagnosis as something to ignore, stigmatize, and/or be "afraid" of facing and treating in an appropriate manner? I'm NOT suggesting that Charlie is bipolar as I have not personally assessed or treated him; but I can say that "all of this" that we are seeing about him in the media sure reads like a chapter out of the "Hi I'm on a Manic High" handbook!
Living the train wreck lifestyle is never a good choice. If you or someone you care about is reminding you too much of Charlie Sheen, you can do something about it right now. Check yourself before your wreck yourself....unlike what Charlie Sheen has been doing to himself and those closest to him for far too long!
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