Saturday, December 28, 2019

New Year...New Peace?

2020 is just around the corner.  We are all works in progress, when we give ourselves permission to function as such.  Nobody is doomed to remain the same person they believe they are until dirt sandwich status.  Of course it is easier to say to oneself, "I can't change;  I am who I am."  That's the easy way out, in case you didn't realize.  Nobody and I do mean NO-BODY is incapable of making positive changes in their own life.  However, ANY-BODY is capable of avoiding their own personal responsibilities like the plague also---and on a daily basis.  What a conundrum!  We know what's right at one level (how we think, how we feel, how we "do");  yet it's so much easier to just blow it off and do nothing.  Welcome to the world of "When Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes!"

Learning to practice peace from the inside out is probably the greatest challenge in existence for all human beings.  It is easy to be and feel peaceful when nothing is going on to challenge that peace.  It's quite a different story when mayhem keeps getting dumped into our laps.  And...??  And this is why we could all benefit from learning how to be and remain truly calm EVEN when the storms of life and people keep swirling around us like a hurricane.  When we can do this, we are at less risk of harming ourselves and/or other people in ways we can't even begin to acknowledge.  Unmonitored self-sabotaging and/or other-directed harmful behaviors only lead to feeling worse and less hopeful about ourselves generally speaking.  It is always so ironic to me when people tell me they have "nobody" they consider a true friend in their lives...and yet are also clueless as to how that reality came into existence in the first place.  Here's your first clue;   you've been more difficult to understand and love than you realize!  And utilizing the above explanation as well, more harmful than helpful to yourself and others!

Think about it.  How does or how will losing your sh** really "solve", "resolve", or "dissolve" your real life and right now problem...whatever it is?  It won't.  Period.  You can yell, scream, punch, hit, smoke a joint, drink a case of beer, drive 95 mph along I-75...and none of that will "make" your problem solve, resolve, or dissolve itself.  Whatever you think, whatever you feel, and whatever you do...YOU have chosen.  Nobody has "made" you anything---except for you and what you chose or are choosing to do.  Even when I have spoken with clients who experience active psychosis, what psychotic thought has really EVER physically harmed the human being thinking that thought?  That would be ZERO!  Even psychotic thoughts have NO REAL POWER over us.  It is only when we choose to act on any given thought we have...that we can land ourselves in the crapper so to speak.  Oh, and might I add at this point that using weed, alcohol, and/or stimulant-based ADHD medication serves as a fabulous invitation for psychotic thinking generally speaking, let alone when there is a pre-existing and undiagnosed/untreated major mood disorder.  JUST SAYIN'...

As such, living in peace begins with learning how to practice peace, practice calm, practice appropriate self-soothing, and practice relaxation on a regular basis.  And NOT through the use of addictive substances and/or processes either.  There are classes, books, seminars, therapists, groups, and businesses which are focused on teaching us how to calm our own sh** down on demand.

It isn't going to kill you to learn how to sit...sit with your feelings...and wait until they change for the better.  Even if you don't breathe slowly and more deeply as a start...even if you don't suck on a super sour warhead candy...or stick your hands in a bowl of ice water for as long as you can stand...you CAN observe your own negative feelings change after a few minutes even by focusing on the "wait" of when it will happen!

2020 can be your best year ever...but it begins with you and with making better and more positive choices for yourself on a day-to-day basis.  Learn how to practice peace from the inside out.  Learn how to chillax only naturally and without "help" of your own Dr. Feelgood substances and/or processes.  Learn how to treat yourself well...and not like garbage.  Be kinder to you.  Be more forgiving to you.  Be more gentle with you.  The rest will follow...

Happy New Year 2020!