Many years ago, Natalie Merchant (of 10,000 Maniacs fame) popularized a song entitled "Carnival". I had never heard of it...never heard her sing it...and would probably still be oblivious today had I not watched Current TV this morning. To make a long story short, when Aileen Wournos was executed back in the early 90's in Florida (you know, the first female serial killer in our country)...she requested that "Carnival" be played at her wake. If you haven't yet watched Nick Broomfield's documentary about Aileen, it's worth renting. Wournos grew up in Troy, Michigan...not so very far from where I am sitting right now. To say her childhood was a hot mess is another understatement of the universe. It is believed her biological grandfather was in reality her biological father; her mother took off within six months of Aileen's birth. Aileen's "on paper" father was a man who ended up killing himself in prison after being incarcerated for sex crimes against an eight-year old boy. And that was only the beginning of Aileen's story.
As the documentary ended and I saw that "Carnival" was the one song Aileen wanted others to hear at her wake...I ran upstairs to my office and listened to it in its entirety. I also read the lyrics. Nick Broomfield states to a group of reporters in the documentary how he believed Aileen was "mad" at the time of her execution. Based on the last interview he did with Aileen the day before she died, I would agree. She did in fact appear to be completely "mad".
But then there was the song "Carnival"....
"I've walked these streets
a virtual stage
it seemed to me
make up on their faces
actors take their places
next to me
I have walked these streets
in a carnival of sights to see
all the cheap thrill seekers
the vendors and the dealers
they crowded around me
have I been blind?
have I been lost?
inside myself
and my own mind
hypnotized
mesmerized
by what my eyes have seen?
I've walked these streets
in a spectacle of wealth and poverty
in the diamond markets
the scarlet welcome carpet
that they just rolled out for me
I've walked these streets
in the mad house asylum
they can be where a wild-eyed misfit prophet
on a traffic island stopped
and he raved of saving me
have I been blind?
have I been lost?
inside myself
and my own mind?
hypnotized
mesmerized
by what my eyes have seen?
have I been wrong?
have I been wise?
to shut my eyes
and play along?
hypnotized
paralyzed
by what my eyes have found?
by what my eyes have seen?
what have they seen?
have I been blind?
have I been lost?
have I been wrong?
have I been wise?
have I been strong?
have I been hypnotized
mesmerized
by what my eyes have found?
in that great street carnival
in that carnival?"
