Facing my uncle alone for the first time was quite daunting considering it was just two weeks ago. Without my aunt to run continuous interference, I know I was afraid in advance of even leaving my house to visit him! What if he treated me the same way he treated her privately? What if he gave me a look or said something like, "Why are you here? Go away!" Not that I could say I cared at this late date in his life...but these things did cross my mind.
Prior to actually going to see him, I was very VERY anxious. I began asking for prayer support about a week before I thought I needed to finally relent and see him face-to-face. So I asked a Bible study group I am in to begin praying for him and for our family; I then asked several friends to be praying. I also asked a physical therapist I befriended these past few months who turned out to be a youth pastor at his church. Inotherwords, I asked for a LOT of prayer!
I had no idea what or when or how I would feel it was "o.k." timing-wise to go and see him. He happened to be in the hospital after suffering complications for a medical issue identified at the rehab facility he was in. So---after physical therapy last Saturday, I just came home and informed my husband I was going to the hospital to see him. Right then. Didn't even know then if I was doing the absolutely right thing in that moment---but I was pulled more towards going than I was into staying home.
So I went. And when my uncle saw me, he was clearly shocked and surprised. He asked where my aunt was (that would be at home! LOL!)...but then I just sat down close to him and suddenly found myself saying things I really never thought I would say to him EVER in my life. Stuff like, "I know you had a rough life coming up uncle B". Stuff that really dug deep into uncle B's past wounds, traumatic experiences, and damage. I didn't know how or why, but suddenly uncle B started to cry. I actually felt bad for him. Like sorry for him for real. Like oh my God this is like any other guy who thinks he knew how to live without any help from God and now gets it about how his choice screwed up his life and relationships royally!
To say I left there feeling exhausted is like saying I like my age spots. I was completely and utterly worn out. It really is hard having to present even harder truths to someone when they are 3/4 the way dead and both of you know that their own future eternity may not actually be as bright as once assumed!
I have visited my uncle twice more since that first visit and feel very hopeful about his future. I believe he is coming to a clear understanding of what he can do to obtain inner peace before leaving this world and entering the next. I also know his tears are not just for himself...but some of them are for me and the relationship he knows we never had. Which is a good thing. Tears are very cleansing and when it comes to the condition of one's soul----lots of tears can accomplish a lot of cleansing!
Until next time....
Prior to actually going to see him, I was very VERY anxious. I began asking for prayer support about a week before I thought I needed to finally relent and see him face-to-face. So I asked a Bible study group I am in to begin praying for him and for our family; I then asked several friends to be praying. I also asked a physical therapist I befriended these past few months who turned out to be a youth pastor at his church. Inotherwords, I asked for a LOT of prayer!
I had no idea what or when or how I would feel it was "o.k." timing-wise to go and see him. He happened to be in the hospital after suffering complications for a medical issue identified at the rehab facility he was in. So---after physical therapy last Saturday, I just came home and informed my husband I was going to the hospital to see him. Right then. Didn't even know then if I was doing the absolutely right thing in that moment---but I was pulled more towards going than I was into staying home.
So I went. And when my uncle saw me, he was clearly shocked and surprised. He asked where my aunt was (that would be at home! LOL!)...but then I just sat down close to him and suddenly found myself saying things I really never thought I would say to him EVER in my life. Stuff like, "I know you had a rough life coming up uncle B". Stuff that really dug deep into uncle B's past wounds, traumatic experiences, and damage. I didn't know how or why, but suddenly uncle B started to cry. I actually felt bad for him. Like sorry for him for real. Like oh my God this is like any other guy who thinks he knew how to live without any help from God and now gets it about how his choice screwed up his life and relationships royally!
To say I left there feeling exhausted is like saying I like my age spots. I was completely and utterly worn out. It really is hard having to present even harder truths to someone when they are 3/4 the way dead and both of you know that their own future eternity may not actually be as bright as once assumed!
I have visited my uncle twice more since that first visit and feel very hopeful about his future. I believe he is coming to a clear understanding of what he can do to obtain inner peace before leaving this world and entering the next. I also know his tears are not just for himself...but some of them are for me and the relationship he knows we never had. Which is a good thing. Tears are very cleansing and when it comes to the condition of one's soul----lots of tears can accomplish a lot of cleansing!
Until next time....