My husband posted a copy of an article today he read about Facebook stressing us out. In the article, the author said that our "collision of worlds" (given the various Facebook "friends" we have!) is causing us to hesitate before we post. After all, who wants grandma knowing that we robbed a convenience store in Vegas last weekend? After reading the article, I was reminded of how much easier it is these days to be and remain de-lusional when it comes to crafting the "media ready" version of our social lives and expectations of one another as Facebookers.
I'll start with me. If you went on my Facebook page right now this is what you would see: A profile photo of me from 23 years ago. The only thing I have in common "now" with that photo is my current hairstyle. When I found the photo some months ago, I decided to post it as my "new" profile photo because I wanted to see if it generated any comments. You know, comments like "You look GREAT Mary!" or "Wow! Did you see Dr. Botox again?!" Yes, I was and admit delusional thinking at the time. This, I might add, in contrast to my husband's current profile photo from 25 years ago when he was "much thinner" than he was last year (by about 70 lbs.)...but which currently makes him appear "fat" because this year he's lost more than 70 lbs.! By the way, I'm the one who put up his profile photo to begin with!
Enough about the outside stuff. As you may be able to surmise, my "stress" on Facebook is solely limited to what makes me look young...old....fat...or fatter. And when I can snap and post a current photo of my thinner and hot-looking husband, him too! Grant it, this obsession with physically appearing "acceptable" to others in me goes back not just years, but decades. I'm going to be one of those 85 year old women (if I make it that long!) who will be wearing every extension known to man from the top down...and every girdle known to women from the bottom up!
Now that I've bared my ugly bits regarding how Facebook has fed the delusional beast in me...what about you? Do you think Facebook is an appropriate springboard to "let it all hang out" on any given day, week, or month? Do you think it's appropriate to post false positive or false negative messages about one's own attitudes, beliefs, opinions, or feelings? Does it matter in the first place? Is Facebook really just a way to make ourselves feel better fast...or vent our frustrations...or remain delusional about that which we feel we cannot change? These are just some questions that our social networking lifestyle raises, regardless of who you are...or who you think you are.
For me, as a psychotherapist...I think Facebook "stress" is going to increase or remain quite high when you know, deep inside yourself, you don't like the person whom you believe you are. Chasing after the acceptance and approval of others is one way to torture yourself; the opposite way is to present like a clanging gong always looking for the next fight. Neither approach really gets anyone anywhere that's good in the end.
Then of course there's the response one of my friends' made recently when I asked her why she hasn't gone on Facebook yet: "It's too damn stressful!"
Touche...
I'll start with me. If you went on my Facebook page right now this is what you would see: A profile photo of me from 23 years ago. The only thing I have in common "now" with that photo is my current hairstyle. When I found the photo some months ago, I decided to post it as my "new" profile photo because I wanted to see if it generated any comments. You know, comments like "You look GREAT Mary!" or "Wow! Did you see Dr. Botox again?!" Yes, I was and admit delusional thinking at the time. This, I might add, in contrast to my husband's current profile photo from 25 years ago when he was "much thinner" than he was last year (by about 70 lbs.)...but which currently makes him appear "fat" because this year he's lost more than 70 lbs.! By the way, I'm the one who put up his profile photo to begin with!
Enough about the outside stuff. As you may be able to surmise, my "stress" on Facebook is solely limited to what makes me look young...old....fat...or fatter. And when I can snap and post a current photo of my thinner and hot-looking husband, him too! Grant it, this obsession with physically appearing "acceptable" to others in me goes back not just years, but decades. I'm going to be one of those 85 year old women (if I make it that long!) who will be wearing every extension known to man from the top down...and every girdle known to women from the bottom up!
Now that I've bared my ugly bits regarding how Facebook has fed the delusional beast in me...what about you? Do you think Facebook is an appropriate springboard to "let it all hang out" on any given day, week, or month? Do you think it's appropriate to post false positive or false negative messages about one's own attitudes, beliefs, opinions, or feelings? Does it matter in the first place? Is Facebook really just a way to make ourselves feel better fast...or vent our frustrations...or remain delusional about that which we feel we cannot change? These are just some questions that our social networking lifestyle raises, regardless of who you are...or who you think you are.
For me, as a psychotherapist...I think Facebook "stress" is going to increase or remain quite high when you know, deep inside yourself, you don't like the person whom you believe you are. Chasing after the acceptance and approval of others is one way to torture yourself; the opposite way is to present like a clanging gong always looking for the next fight. Neither approach really gets anyone anywhere that's good in the end.
Then of course there's the response one of my friends' made recently when I asked her why she hasn't gone on Facebook yet: "It's too damn stressful!"
Touche...