Earth is the psychiatric unit of the universe. How do I know this is true? Well, for one thing, I have paid attention to what has been going on around me for these last fifty-odd years when it comes to people and the ways in which we think, feel, and behave. Even as a little kid, I knew something was WAY wrong when my mother locked me in her bedroom in order to go off "shopping" for hours on end without any other adult supervision present in our home. I also knew something was up after my brother was born and I saw a babysitter trying to breastfeed him when he got his milk from a bottle!
As the years progressed and I realized that I might as well have been an alien from another planet given the household I was dropped into and the "family" who surrounded me, I somehow figured out that life outside of my house was probably a better bet than living my life within it. I can remember walking to various houses around our block at four years old, knocking on doors, and asking "Do you have a kid here my age who I can play with?" before moving on to the next house. During those search and recognizance missions, I met some very kindly adults who actually behaved in a complete opposite manner from my own parents. That was the beginning of my journey away from the legacy of pain handed down to me by my family on both sides---and into a world of relationships that was (hopefully!) healthier, saner, and more pleasant to be around.
Don't get me wrong. Some of the places I ended up at or in weren't actually "safer" at all. I remember one of my babysitters whose adult son decided I was his "girlfriend" when he was eighteen years older than me. I also recall the neighborhood "hoodlums" who used the woods across my street as their base of operation. There was a lot of crazy going on...along with a lot of pain.
So what about this pain thang and what it can do to a person? I don't know how many books have been written on this topic for as long as we've been around to write them---do you? A thousand? Ten thousand? A million? Who knows! Pain is something that has always been and will always be forever linked to our human condition. Experts say the pain begins as soon as we begin to make our entrance into this world. That would refer to literal or physical pain, by the way. Newsflash moment: same is true for the mother delivering that newborn baby. Yet isn't it ironic that the physical pain associated with childbirth isn't typically "remembered" in the same way as the emotional pain of being sexually abused as a child...or being harshly judged by others? When the pain we experience can be viewed as necessary in accomplishing some greater good (like delivering a baby into this world!)...we can and do manage to move past it
So where does bravery, courage, patience, and self-control come from (just to name handful of "character"- based virtues)? Do you develop them as a result of downing a Fifth of Jack every weekend...or staying in bed all day because you feel depressed? iron sharpens iron. You can't create steel by just taking a piece of raw metal and then hoping for the best. It has to be subjected to a LOT of friction. And I do mean a LOT of friction. It's the same with us human beings. Pain can be and is a great teacher....when we allow it to be. If we don't, it'll mess us up physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, AND spiritually for longer than we ever imagined possible.
Yes of course pain stinks (except for those who are "into" it...again, another blog for another time!). But when you reframe your thinking about what pain can do to refine you (like that raw metal that can eventually be transformed successfully into steel)...you may find that you aren't as hesitant to just "experience" it when it happens (anymore!) and instead actually focus on what "it" is teaching you (in terms of your own bigger picture that is!).
For me personally, one thing the pain from my childhood taught me was other-directedness (which means being able to "read" other people's non-verbal cues and body language quickerthanyoucanreadthis!). Back then, this functioned for me as a protective measure to (hopefully!) prevent me from experiencing "more" pain for lack of paying attention to "whom" I was with! As an adult, I have learned that my ability to be "other directed" is really part of a package I received in learning how to attend to, care for, and assist others in overcoming their own painful pasts.
Now what if I didn't allow myself to "learn" this as a result of my painful past? What if (for example) I said "Screw This!" and just devoted myself to partying up a storm...finding and acquiring a different boyfriend every month...and focused myself on living off the fat of other peoples' backs? My POINT is this pain "thang" is something that has a purpose and the potential for positive end results---when you allow it. Did I tell you I plan on getting my philosophy about this whole issue tattooed on my inner forearm later this year? Yeah, I do. Romans 8:28
