Letting go of whatever brand of dysfunction you live by begins with being and becoming AWARE of what you think, say, and do that is (to put it bluntly!) messed up. Next, you need to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for what you think, say, and do that is messed up. How do you take responsibility? It's pretty easy; you begin by telling a trusted someone else about it. You may talk about "it" to one person---or one hundred persons. It doesn't really matter how often you do this---but it is certainly crucial to your own recovery process that you do!
When you've done these two things mentioned above...you have FACED your issues which is a good beginning. However, as I've stated before in past posts...everything that is faced doesn't necessarily change. Yet everything that changes is always faced. In order to start practicing and making the positive changes necessary to heal and "be better" as a person...the next and very important step has to do with adopting an "attitude of gratitude".
Some like to describe cultivating an attitude of gratitude as being "positive". Being positive is not the same as being thankful. I can be positively sure that you're an idiot; that's not the same as being thankful that you are in my life (even though you are an idiot) to teach me whatever it is I need to learn from you. See what I mean? Attitudes of gratitude will take you to places you may have never been before. And that's definitely a positive thing for you to learn and practice over the long run...
So...how do we begin with developing an attitude of gratitude in our own lives? I always point to nature as a first step. Even if you are not an "outdoors" person per se...you most certainly are outside at some point in your day or evening schedule. When you are outside, let yourself take a look around. What do you notice that you know you haven't let yourself "notice" before? What is it about nature/the out of doors that you like, appreciate...and are thankful for? For me personally, I happen to live close to a 16-mile scenic route that allows me to walk it...bike it...or drive along it and experience nature on both sides for a literal 16-mile stretch of roadway. However you find your "spots" and wherever they may be, stop and literally allow yourself to smell the roses---listen to the birds singing---and/or observe the river flowing. Whatever you know you appreciate and enjoy...these are the aspects of nature that you can also be grateful for...
Next, take a look at yourself. If you want to break it down, you can do so as follows: your physical self, your mental/emotional self, your social self, and your spiritual self. What is "good", in your own humble opinion of course, about each of these aspects of your personhood? Are you happy about being 5'10" tall? I know I am. I once was surrounded by a group of people at Nordstrom Rack's shoe department and couldn't believe I was the shortest person in this group! It made me feel somewhat claustrophobic! Grant it, I don't get too many days (or nights!) when I'm the shortest woman around in public---but that was the one time and experience when I was VERY grateful for my height! See what I mean? Allow yourself to go there; think about what you know you've been complimented about in the past (and present!)--and what you know you "like" about you! Can you sing? Do you play an instrument? Do you love listening to a particular genre of music? Again, whatever it is about "you" that is good---you can also practice being grateful for it!
Being grateful is also about allowing yourself to see the "bigger" picture in life's circumstances which may otherwise pose problems for you. For example, how can you be brave and practice brave "behavior" if you actively avoid circumstances where bravery is required? How can you demonstrate courage if you keep your mouth shut in response to whatever anyone says or does which is highly offensive to you? Are you getting my drift here? We ALL can learn good things from what we experience in our lives and relationships...when we allow ourselves to view them as learning opportunities! And that comes directly from adopting an attitude of gratitude versus thinkin' that's stinkin'! (Which by the way, thinkin' that is stinkin' comes VERY easily to all of us!)
It is also an attitude of gratitude that gets us through our hardest times in life. Even the darkest day is still only 24 hours long. That's the truth...as is the fact that no day is ever exactly the same twice. Isn't it better to finally receive for yourself what it takes to view any glass as half full as opposed to half empty? When we adopt attitudes of gratitude, we find that we do become more resilient---more hopeful---and more able to "cope" in a healthy way when life throws us those periodic and proverbial curve balls.
So consider being thankful as an important part of your journey to wholeness...
