The "Twilight Zone" was one of my favorite television shows as a young child growing up in the 60's. I probably watched every single episode ever created; however, there are only a few that have withstood the test of time and memory for me. One of these episodes had to do with an old man whose family was waiting for him to die. They were all holed up in the old man's mansion and included his middle-aged daughter, her husband, and their two adult children. In order for this family to inherit "everything" the old man had....he stipulated that they each must put on and wear a mask that he provided to them until the stroke of midnight. I remember at the time being quite shocked by the sight of the masks themselves. These were NOT your garden variety Halloween masks by any stretch of the imagination. Unbeknownst to me at the time, each mask represented one of the deadly sins of mankind. Dad got the mask depicting a prideful nature; mom received the mask of greed. Sunny boy's mask was all about sloth....and daughter's was pure vanity...
As midnight struck and the old man finally passed, the family was overjoyed at the thought of finally getting every penny of the old man's estate. They were also relieved to be finally free of their hot and uncomfortable masks. As the masks were removed one-by-one, the family's joy was suddenly overshadowed by shock and disbelief. Each of their faces had molded into a replica of the mask worn that evening....
Putting on an eminent front in order to cope with your life, your relationships, and the world around you is a lot like wearing a mask that you'll never be free of. The good news is that there IS a way to be free of whatever mask(s) you have worn throughout your life---and it begins with facing reality. How many times have I heard "I don't care about money", "..money has never mattered to me"..."I don't need things in order to be happy"...as I observe a client who makes Paris Hilton look like a refugee. That's an obvious example. Another not so obvious example is the client who keeps screaming about the "ex" who is a control freak---and yet won't eat anything else but "Whole Foods" produce, doesn't like to go anywhere with anyone unless she's driving, and has a significant problem with getting most anywhere on time.
Facing the reality of your life and what you do to "cover up" your flaws...your wounds...and your perceived damage is the first step in the healing process. Please remember, however, that everything that is faced doesn't necessarily change. To do that, you MUST take responsibility for what you do (and what masks you wear!) that feed the beast of staying stuck in your own unique brand of dysfunction. Once you take responsibility for what you say and do...or what you don't say and don't do...you'll be on the road to freeing yourself from your mask(s) once and for all. For in the end, everything that changes must always be faced. Without a mask on it that is....
