It's not what happens that matters most, but how one responds to what has happened that does.
Sounds good. Very difficult to put into actual practice, however. Let's face it. If someone yells at me and I know I didn't do or say anything to provoke the yeller....what do you think my natural inclination is? To pray for him or her? Nope. To ask in a gentle but firm tone, "Excuse me, I hear the words but don't understand their meaning. Could you explain why you are saying that to me in this moment?" That would be a double nope. In reality and in spite of all my professional training, my "natural" inclination would be and has historically been to yell back---just louder and more menacingly. To say I am proud of this "survivor" mentality still lurking within me is not the case. When I was a younger person, one of my standard one-liners was this: "I can kick anyone's..." I think you get the picture. The only problem was then as it remains now: kicking anyone's anything does NOTHING to solve, resolve, or dissolve the issue or problem that started whatever mess we find ourselves in--in the first place!
I often assign "Grand Torino" as the movie to watch for my clients who struggle with feeling overwhelmed about their life's problems...and who have used their fists or their weaponry to settle real or imagined scores. It's a good movie. You should watch it too sometime. Everyone should. If ever there was a movie to remind us of how two wrongs do NOT make a right...this is it.
Life is full of difficult stuff. People are often unreasonable and self-centered. We should forgive them anyway. Even when we are kind, people may accuse us of ulterior motives. We should be kind anyway. If we are honest, people may cheat us. We should be honest anyway. People may persecute us. We should pray for them anyway. Trying to solve our problems with our fists or venom-laced words can never lead to a life filled with authentic love, inner peace, and true joy. How could it? You don't get flowers as a result of stompin' on rocks--no matter how often or how hard you stomp. We must learn to make the positive changes that will bring us peace...and wisdom...and joy IN SPITE of our difficult circumstances. Nobody learns how to be brave or courageous by actively avoiding the tough stuff of life. Raw metal doesn't become finely polished steel by just layin' in the dirt for 20 or 30 years. It is the friction that occurs over and over and over again which transforms that raw material into something strong, beautiful, and ultimately indestructible.
Storms are not the problem; being inappropriately and inadequately prepared for them is.
Until we meet again....
Sounds good. Very difficult to put into actual practice, however. Let's face it. If someone yells at me and I know I didn't do or say anything to provoke the yeller....what do you think my natural inclination is? To pray for him or her? Nope. To ask in a gentle but firm tone, "Excuse me, I hear the words but don't understand their meaning. Could you explain why you are saying that to me in this moment?" That would be a double nope. In reality and in spite of all my professional training, my "natural" inclination would be and has historically been to yell back---just louder and more menacingly. To say I am proud of this "survivor" mentality still lurking within me is not the case. When I was a younger person, one of my standard one-liners was this: "I can kick anyone's..." I think you get the picture. The only problem was then as it remains now: kicking anyone's anything does NOTHING to solve, resolve, or dissolve the issue or problem that started whatever mess we find ourselves in--in the first place!
I often assign "Grand Torino" as the movie to watch for my clients who struggle with feeling overwhelmed about their life's problems...and who have used their fists or their weaponry to settle real or imagined scores. It's a good movie. You should watch it too sometime. Everyone should. If ever there was a movie to remind us of how two wrongs do NOT make a right...this is it.
Life is full of difficult stuff. People are often unreasonable and self-centered. We should forgive them anyway. Even when we are kind, people may accuse us of ulterior motives. We should be kind anyway. If we are honest, people may cheat us. We should be honest anyway. People may persecute us. We should pray for them anyway. Trying to solve our problems with our fists or venom-laced words can never lead to a life filled with authentic love, inner peace, and true joy. How could it? You don't get flowers as a result of stompin' on rocks--no matter how often or how hard you stomp. We must learn to make the positive changes that will bring us peace...and wisdom...and joy IN SPITE of our difficult circumstances. Nobody learns how to be brave or courageous by actively avoiding the tough stuff of life. Raw metal doesn't become finely polished steel by just layin' in the dirt for 20 or 30 years. It is the friction that occurs over and over and over again which transforms that raw material into something strong, beautiful, and ultimately indestructible.
Storms are not the problem; being inappropriately and inadequately prepared for them is.
Until we meet again....