I had never before heard anguish described as "the mind in labor" until recently. What is anguish exactly? According to Beth Moore, author of several best-selling Bible studies and the most recent "Mercy Triumphs" study on the book of James, the etymology of the word itself stems from the Latin "angere" and includes the meaning "to choke". In the Green definition (thlipsis), anguish means "to crush, press, compress, squeeze". As Moore points out in her video, anguish can be thought of as the feeling of anxiety and/or dread crushing down on you like a great weight originating from your mind...while the pain and/or suffering (anger) felt within your body is coming up at the same time (hence, the "choke" effect). I don't know about you, but I'd say she nailed it. Anyone who has struggled with all of these component parts which lead to anguish (pain, anxiety, suffering, and dread) knows that the net effect is one of feeling or being choked. Not a good thing...and a very hard way to live.
Yet as anyone who has given birth will tell you, anguish can literally be transformed into something beautiful and joy-filled despite the pain...and the suffering...and the anxiety...and the dread. As the body goes through labor to push out a beautiful new creation....so does the mind. I can remember when I was hospitalized a full week before I gave birth to our daughter; she wasn't due until a month later---and I found myself going from a routine doctor's appointment with my husband to a hospital bed. Because everything happened so quickly, I didn't focus on what was wrong so much as I did on being grateful my husband was with me! In my case, what could have been a week filled with tremendous anguish turned out to be party in my hospital room. My roommate was a bus driver who just had a C-section; we laughed so much during our time together that she was moved to another room after popping a few of her staples. After she left, I was the quarantined for a few days as the doctor(s) feared I had contracted Hepatitis C. I didn't even know what Hepatitis C was at the time, but I know I was grateful for the nurses who seemed to appear out of nowhere to talk to me and ask my advice about all things "marketing" (I was a marketing consultant to small business at that time). I also remember being very happy about the deliveries of "good" food that my husband and friends brought to me basically on demand. When all was said and done and God blessed us with our beautiful 6 lb. 7oz. baby girl....I KNEW I was and had been protected from a whole lotta anguish that I was distracted away from for the entire week.
Now as I prepare to get a total knee replacement tomorrow afternoon....I have to admit my mind has been in labor these past few weeks. What if the pain is more than I can bear? What if I freak out because my leg will feel like a wood plank I can't bend for several weeks like I want to? What if I can't get in and out of my SUV? What if.... What if..... What if....
Instead, just as was true before our daughter was born....I need to chillax and focus on the bigger picture. Ultimately, my knee will work right! Ultimately, I will be able to walk without thinking of every step hurting like it has these past four years. Ultimately, I will not even have to "think" about how far someplace is that I am forced to walk to. Ultimately, I won't have to pop two Advil or one Celebrex every single morning knowing they don't work that great anyway. Ultimately, I will be set free of the tyranny of my left knee!
Nobody is exempt from experiencing "mind in labor" moments. We all have them. But when we lose sleep over them...when we find ourselves going round and round with these same catastrophic thoughts based on our own anticapatory anxieties...it's really no good. Instead of permitting ourselves to become comfortably familiar with the feelings associated with our anxiety, anguish, and dread---we can practice putting a stop to it. We truly can. Just the other night I suggested that a client struggling with guilt go on Pinterest and search for "Funny Guilt Memes". Sometimes when we read those memes that tell it like it is...they not only make us laugh our heads off---but bring before us some home truths we won't ever forget. Those truths, in turn, can give us hope, a new direction, and focus in moving our minds and our bodies forward. As as been said many times before, "What we resist, will persist."
I held off on this surgery for four years and two months. I have heard countless times how I will regret not having it done sooner after I am healed and my knee "works" again. Silly me. I let my anguish over my left knee get the best of me...until tomorrow that is.
Until we meet again....
Yet as anyone who has given birth will tell you, anguish can literally be transformed into something beautiful and joy-filled despite the pain...and the suffering...and the anxiety...and the dread. As the body goes through labor to push out a beautiful new creation....so does the mind. I can remember when I was hospitalized a full week before I gave birth to our daughter; she wasn't due until a month later---and I found myself going from a routine doctor's appointment with my husband to a hospital bed. Because everything happened so quickly, I didn't focus on what was wrong so much as I did on being grateful my husband was with me! In my case, what could have been a week filled with tremendous anguish turned out to be party in my hospital room. My roommate was a bus driver who just had a C-section; we laughed so much during our time together that she was moved to another room after popping a few of her staples. After she left, I was the quarantined for a few days as the doctor(s) feared I had contracted Hepatitis C. I didn't even know what Hepatitis C was at the time, but I know I was grateful for the nurses who seemed to appear out of nowhere to talk to me and ask my advice about all things "marketing" (I was a marketing consultant to small business at that time). I also remember being very happy about the deliveries of "good" food that my husband and friends brought to me basically on demand. When all was said and done and God blessed us with our beautiful 6 lb. 7oz. baby girl....I KNEW I was and had been protected from a whole lotta anguish that I was distracted away from for the entire week.
Now as I prepare to get a total knee replacement tomorrow afternoon....I have to admit my mind has been in labor these past few weeks. What if the pain is more than I can bear? What if I freak out because my leg will feel like a wood plank I can't bend for several weeks like I want to? What if I can't get in and out of my SUV? What if.... What if..... What if....
Instead, just as was true before our daughter was born....I need to chillax and focus on the bigger picture. Ultimately, my knee will work right! Ultimately, I will be able to walk without thinking of every step hurting like it has these past four years. Ultimately, I will not even have to "think" about how far someplace is that I am forced to walk to. Ultimately, I won't have to pop two Advil or one Celebrex every single morning knowing they don't work that great anyway. Ultimately, I will be set free of the tyranny of my left knee!
Nobody is exempt from experiencing "mind in labor" moments. We all have them. But when we lose sleep over them...when we find ourselves going round and round with these same catastrophic thoughts based on our own anticapatory anxieties...it's really no good. Instead of permitting ourselves to become comfortably familiar with the feelings associated with our anxiety, anguish, and dread---we can practice putting a stop to it. We truly can. Just the other night I suggested that a client struggling with guilt go on Pinterest and search for "Funny Guilt Memes". Sometimes when we read those memes that tell it like it is...they not only make us laugh our heads off---but bring before us some home truths we won't ever forget. Those truths, in turn, can give us hope, a new direction, and focus in moving our minds and our bodies forward. As as been said many times before, "What we resist, will persist."
I held off on this surgery for four years and two months. I have heard countless times how I will regret not having it done sooner after I am healed and my knee "works" again. Silly me. I let my anguish over my left knee get the best of me...until tomorrow that is.
Until we meet again....