"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." In her new book, "Making Good Habits" by Joyce Meyer, Meyer states that our habits represent appoximately 40% of what we do day in and day out. Our habits are both good and bad. Our good habits make us feel safe and in control; they make us feel peaceful and happy. Good habits also allow us to achieve personal and/or professional success, which leads to increased feelings of "I am worthy"-ness. Our bad habits, on the other hand, accomplish the opposite. Bad habits rob us of our joy, our peace, and they certainly prevent us from being and feeling successful. Bad habits also make us feel bad about ourselves and who we are which, in turn, causes us to feel unsafe and out of control.
The good news is that ANY bad habit can be broken, even those which have led to addiction and/or addictive behaviors. As Meyer points out in her book, our culture of instant gratification is one of the reasons why we don't develop good habits in the first place. She is right. Now a days, we don't have to work very much if at all for something before we can actually have it. Whatever we want "right now", we can pretty much get "right now" too. On the way to my office the other day, I needed to cash a check, get something "quick" to eat, and pick up a few items at CVS. Just fifty years ago, such a series of errands could involve hours or even a full day if the person in need didn't drive or own a car---and/or the bank, restaurant, and drugstore were on opposite sides of town from one another. The other day, I could get what I wanted within 20 minutes thanks to Tim Horton's, my bank, and CVS all being located within the same strip mall!
Learning to quit working is as much of a habit as to work without quitting. Vince Lombardi once said "Winning is a habit; unfortunately, so is losing." In spite of how easy it is to think "Boneyard's ribs!" one minute and go pick them up the next, we must recognize and learn (or re-learn!) how working for our own joy, peace, success, safety, and security IS worth the effort because WE are worth the effort. Nobody else owes us a good moment or a good day; nobody else owes us a good week, month, year, or lifetime. Yet we DO owe all of these things to ourselves. Being open, willing, and committed to working as a lifestyle choice comes to us from practice....and repeated practice...day after day. We must be committed to the realization that work is not the enemy here, but our truest of friends.
Beyond this heartfelt and personal desire to "do" work as a new good habit we are developing, we need to also recognize procrastination for what it is. As a wise someone once said, "Procrastination is suicide on the installment plan." If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and take action, you will have anything you desire. Procrastination is the enemy of anyone's ability to break a bad habit and create a good new one. As its own bad habit, procrastination can be broken when we replace it with being and becoming a "now" person; one who does what needs to be done as soon as is possible. This means that when you notice what you need to do to accomplish something that is the right thing to do, you do it as soon as you can. For some, this is not a problem as they find great joy in beginning a project. Yet as they get into actually working on it and sticking with it through to completion---well, that can lead to a whole other story. The task suddenly looks enormous and it threatens to overwhelm. It is at this point when I am reminded of the joke: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time that's how! Procrastination often starts with what is literally a single "small" problem...but over time that small problem can easily morph into many small problems which eventually turn into bigger and bigger problems left undealt with. Funny how we do that eh? We can so easily go from "This is exciting! I can do this!" to "Oh man, this is huge! What have I gotten myself into?!" to "Forget it! It's too much for me to focus on right now!" when in FACT that "thing" we need to do is just one relatively small thing to do so long as we do it NOW! Over time, what we imagined as so bad in the beginning is really nothing compared to the elephant that got created by doing nothing about it for too long! Nothing changes when nothing changes. Procrastination never makes us feel good; when we put things off, they aggravate us. Becoming a "now" person and repeating this practice can take the power out of procrastination in our lives.
Having said all of this, I am aware that many of us who struggle with bad habits and our inability to break them may have pre-existing issues which work against our ability to be and function as a "now" person who works without interruption and sees things through to their completion. Undiagnosed and untreated ADHD is one of these issues. Instead of being appropriately diagnosed and treated with proper medication, many ADHDers will choose drugs and/or alcohol to "feel better fast". That's kind of like trying to put out a raging fire with some gasoline on the one hand...or trying to revive an unconscious person with xanax on the other. If you have or suspect that you have ADHD, get in to see a licensed psychologist (LLP or LP) and/or psychiatrist so you can be properly evaluated, tested, and treated. Psychologists cannot prescribe any medications, but psychiatrists can. ADHDers without proper treatment find themselves viewing everything they do in life as a series of huge elephants they have no interest in taking ANY bites from at all!
Part II of this discussion on Breaking Bad coming next post...
The good news is that ANY bad habit can be broken, even those which have led to addiction and/or addictive behaviors. As Meyer points out in her book, our culture of instant gratification is one of the reasons why we don't develop good habits in the first place. She is right. Now a days, we don't have to work very much if at all for something before we can actually have it. Whatever we want "right now", we can pretty much get "right now" too. On the way to my office the other day, I needed to cash a check, get something "quick" to eat, and pick up a few items at CVS. Just fifty years ago, such a series of errands could involve hours or even a full day if the person in need didn't drive or own a car---and/or the bank, restaurant, and drugstore were on opposite sides of town from one another. The other day, I could get what I wanted within 20 minutes thanks to Tim Horton's, my bank, and CVS all being located within the same strip mall!
Learning to quit working is as much of a habit as to work without quitting. Vince Lombardi once said "Winning is a habit; unfortunately, so is losing." In spite of how easy it is to think "Boneyard's ribs!" one minute and go pick them up the next, we must recognize and learn (or re-learn!) how working for our own joy, peace, success, safety, and security IS worth the effort because WE are worth the effort. Nobody else owes us a good moment or a good day; nobody else owes us a good week, month, year, or lifetime. Yet we DO owe all of these things to ourselves. Being open, willing, and committed to working as a lifestyle choice comes to us from practice....and repeated practice...day after day. We must be committed to the realization that work is not the enemy here, but our truest of friends.
Beyond this heartfelt and personal desire to "do" work as a new good habit we are developing, we need to also recognize procrastination for what it is. As a wise someone once said, "Procrastination is suicide on the installment plan." If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and take action, you will have anything you desire. Procrastination is the enemy of anyone's ability to break a bad habit and create a good new one. As its own bad habit, procrastination can be broken when we replace it with being and becoming a "now" person; one who does what needs to be done as soon as is possible. This means that when you notice what you need to do to accomplish something that is the right thing to do, you do it as soon as you can. For some, this is not a problem as they find great joy in beginning a project. Yet as they get into actually working on it and sticking with it through to completion---well, that can lead to a whole other story. The task suddenly looks enormous and it threatens to overwhelm. It is at this point when I am reminded of the joke: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time that's how! Procrastination often starts with what is literally a single "small" problem...but over time that small problem can easily morph into many small problems which eventually turn into bigger and bigger problems left undealt with. Funny how we do that eh? We can so easily go from "This is exciting! I can do this!" to "Oh man, this is huge! What have I gotten myself into?!" to "Forget it! It's too much for me to focus on right now!" when in FACT that "thing" we need to do is just one relatively small thing to do so long as we do it NOW! Over time, what we imagined as so bad in the beginning is really nothing compared to the elephant that got created by doing nothing about it for too long! Nothing changes when nothing changes. Procrastination never makes us feel good; when we put things off, they aggravate us. Becoming a "now" person and repeating this practice can take the power out of procrastination in our lives.
Having said all of this, I am aware that many of us who struggle with bad habits and our inability to break them may have pre-existing issues which work against our ability to be and function as a "now" person who works without interruption and sees things through to their completion. Undiagnosed and untreated ADHD is one of these issues. Instead of being appropriately diagnosed and treated with proper medication, many ADHDers will choose drugs and/or alcohol to "feel better fast". That's kind of like trying to put out a raging fire with some gasoline on the one hand...or trying to revive an unconscious person with xanax on the other. If you have or suspect that you have ADHD, get in to see a licensed psychologist (LLP or LP) and/or psychiatrist so you can be properly evaluated, tested, and treated. Psychologists cannot prescribe any medications, but psychiatrists can. ADHDers without proper treatment find themselves viewing everything they do in life as a series of huge elephants they have no interest in taking ANY bites from at all!
Part II of this discussion on Breaking Bad coming next post...