The national conversation regarding the recent #MeToo movement is long overdue. I am surprised it took until 2006 for social activist Tarana Burke to coin the phrase itself; even more shocking that another eleven years had to pass before #MeToo was made the catch phrase against sexual harassment and assault in the workplace. The original purpose of #MeToo was to empower young and vulnerable women who were sexually harassed, assaulted, or abused through the use of empathy. The movement has shape shifted some since last fall to include other, new movements such as #TimesUp, #ChurchToo, #HowIWillChange, and #IWill...just to name some. These shifts represent the growth within the original movement to include both men and women of all ages, colors, sexual identity and preference; in addition, to address ways in which to hold perpetrators appropriately responsible and stop the cycle of sexual harassment and violence in the workplace....
Lofty goals for a reality that has been present within humanity since the dawn of mankind. Just sayin'. Please don't misunderstand me: any movement that shines a light on sexual harassment, assault, and abuse in the workplace is beyond overdue. In a 2017 poll by ABC News and the Washington Post, 54% of women in this country report receiving "unwanted and inappropriate" sexual advances...with 95% saying that such behavior usually goes unpunished. In contrast, a person who makes a sexual harassment complaint at work in France is reprimanded or fired 40% of the time..while the accused person is typically not investigated or punished. In Japan, as few as 4% of rape victims report the crime, and charges are dropped in about 50% of all cases. Since existing options for reporting have so abysmally failed legitimate victims, "whisper networks" developed unofficially in nearly every industry and major institution in this country. These private lists of "people to avoid at work" have been shared from person-to-person, in private social media groups, via online forums, and spreadsheets. The media has picked up on this practice and has presented how such lists can become weaponized so as to spread unsubstantiated gossip about otherwise innocent people. In other words, whatever people are doing to protect themselves and others from known sexual bullies within their workplace....it hasn't prevented these same bullies from doing what they do over and over again. Think Bill Cosby folks. Think Harvey Weinstein. Think about your lecherous college professor from back in the day...
So, why is that? How can the phrase "MeToo" be tweeted by actor Alyssa Milano around noon on October 15th of this past year....and then be used more than 200,000 times by the end of that day...tweeted more than 500,000 times by October 16th....and used by more than 4.7 million people in 12 million posts during the first 24 hours----and to what end? "It" happened to you...and "it" happened to #MeToo? Yeah....and...???
And what about a national conversation about what we, as #MeToo survivors, need to be about and do to stop the cycle of sexual violence ourselves? I find it fascinating that the best-kept secret in all of this hot mess is the role approval, acceptance, and "like" play(ed) in the minds of those who end(ed) up battered, bruised, and broken literally and/or figuratively. In other words, when I can see and smell the smoke...I don't hang around and wait until it overwhelms me. Neither do I stick my hand in a pre-existing fire---or merely hope it will eventually disappear. One thing we all must learn beyond all these fabulous initiatives currently being presented in Congress....in schools....and in so many other of our public and private institutions is this: check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. Nobody goes into battle naked and carrying a feather; if you don't know or want to know what motivates your own choices.....get into therapy at the very least and get yourself some real help. Any perpetrator knows who he or she is. The problem is when you or I keep doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome. Time to stop the madness folks. And that begins with a good and hard look from the inside out....
Until next time....
Lofty goals for a reality that has been present within humanity since the dawn of mankind. Just sayin'. Please don't misunderstand me: any movement that shines a light on sexual harassment, assault, and abuse in the workplace is beyond overdue. In a 2017 poll by ABC News and the Washington Post, 54% of women in this country report receiving "unwanted and inappropriate" sexual advances...with 95% saying that such behavior usually goes unpunished. In contrast, a person who makes a sexual harassment complaint at work in France is reprimanded or fired 40% of the time..while the accused person is typically not investigated or punished. In Japan, as few as 4% of rape victims report the crime, and charges are dropped in about 50% of all cases. Since existing options for reporting have so abysmally failed legitimate victims, "whisper networks" developed unofficially in nearly every industry and major institution in this country. These private lists of "people to avoid at work" have been shared from person-to-person, in private social media groups, via online forums, and spreadsheets. The media has picked up on this practice and has presented how such lists can become weaponized so as to spread unsubstantiated gossip about otherwise innocent people. In other words, whatever people are doing to protect themselves and others from known sexual bullies within their workplace....it hasn't prevented these same bullies from doing what they do over and over again. Think Bill Cosby folks. Think Harvey Weinstein. Think about your lecherous college professor from back in the day...
So, why is that? How can the phrase "MeToo" be tweeted by actor Alyssa Milano around noon on October 15th of this past year....and then be used more than 200,000 times by the end of that day...tweeted more than 500,000 times by October 16th....and used by more than 4.7 million people in 12 million posts during the first 24 hours----and to what end? "It" happened to you...and "it" happened to #MeToo? Yeah....and...???
And what about a national conversation about what we, as #MeToo survivors, need to be about and do to stop the cycle of sexual violence ourselves? I find it fascinating that the best-kept secret in all of this hot mess is the role approval, acceptance, and "like" play(ed) in the minds of those who end(ed) up battered, bruised, and broken literally and/or figuratively. In other words, when I can see and smell the smoke...I don't hang around and wait until it overwhelms me. Neither do I stick my hand in a pre-existing fire---or merely hope it will eventually disappear. One thing we all must learn beyond all these fabulous initiatives currently being presented in Congress....in schools....and in so many other of our public and private institutions is this: check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. Nobody goes into battle naked and carrying a feather; if you don't know or want to know what motivates your own choices.....get into therapy at the very least and get yourself some real help. Any perpetrator knows who he or she is. The problem is when you or I keep doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome. Time to stop the madness folks. And that begins with a good and hard look from the inside out....
Until next time....