Imagine yourself receiving a phone call later today from the media personality you most personally admire from your life so far. He or she might be a famous actor, musician, political figure, or author. He or she might even be an industry expert or infamous criminal. Whomever it is you are thinking of, he or she is calling you today...
When this person calls, you are invited to appear on a specially televised broadcast where you will be interviewed by this person of your choice---with the broadcast streaming live all around the planet. No kidding! When the interview is completed, you will become "instant" famous yourself. There is no doubt of that.
As part of this opportunity, you do have the power to ensure that you are NOT asked certain questions about your past history, present life, and/or future fears. In this way, these questions would represent the experiences past and present that disturb you greatly..or that you most fear "might" happen in the future.
What specific questions do you want to make sure you are NOT asked during your interview?
Why?
Now decide what specific questions you want to make sure you ARE asked during your interview. What would those specific questions be that you would insist on being asked? In this way, these represent the experiences past and present that celebrate you greatly...or that you genuinely look forward to happening in the future.
Why?
Controlling the narrative of our current interactions, past experiences, and future concerns/plans is a huge problem for way too many of us. We don't even realize we are doing it 9/10ths of the time. We just "know" that we feel real "good" when someone tells us or validates us about how "great" we are; we also feel real "bad" when something is said or done that strikes a proverbial nerve within us. Not unlike the example presented at the start of this post, if we are going to be interviewed for a global broadcast, there is NO WAY in HADES that "we" are going to talk about the time I...... But we will DEFINITELY talk about what happened the other day when I....... It's how we roll folks. We want to be thought of, perceived as, and remembered for A, J, L, and W. However, nobody better EVER bring up C, D, E, F, S, and T again!
In his book, "The Untethered Soul", author Michael Singer talks about the issue of having a "thorn" stuck in our forearm as an analogy for how we typically "cope" with painful past events, present drama, crisis, and chaos, and/or anxieties and fears about the future. Without getting into the details here, I suggest picking up the book from your local library and giving it a read. In a nutshell, we have a choice: do we remove the thorn---or do we do everything and anything to ensure that the thorn we're "stuck" with inside us is NEVER disturbed?
Controlling our narrative to avoid being disturbed by our own past history, present problems, or future fears is something we all do to essentially prolong the agony of our own dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
Now stop and re-read that last sentence about ten times before you continue on here. (Not that I'm attempting to control the narrative (I AM!), but we need to ABSORB the truth of that message big time!) :-P
Maybe today is the time to stop and think about what we have been doing to avoid having our own inner "thorns" being touched by anyone or anything!
"Sue" is someone who has been divorced for five years. She hates men. She will admit it openly. She really does and without a doubt hates men. Why? As Sue would explain it, any man she truly cared about in her life and history ended up leaving her against her will. Her only brother ended up leaving the family as a young man and never looked back. Sue missed him terribly back then and still does to this very day. Her father left the family shortly after her brother's departure. Sue is still not sure why he left, but she dare not bring it up to either her father or mother to this very day. "I can't ask them why he left and they ultimately divorced!", Sue claims. "That's their personal business!" Hey, I can't make this stuff up. Next, Sue's first boyfriend seemed a dream come true, until she found out he was cheating on her. When Sue finally found who she believed was her "Mr. Right", her husband also ended up cheating on Sue and leaving her for the other woman. As a parting gift, Sue's husband made sure to tell her what a blankety-blank-blank "nut job" Sue was and THIS was the reason why he was leaving her.
Needless to say, Sue's history with men who mattered to her was more bad than good.
To protect herself and to avoid this heartbreak from "ever" happening again, Sue surrounded herself with other women who were similarly wounded (by men). It didn't make sense initially; why would any woman seek out this type of "support"? In Sue's case, she needed justification for her resentment and bitterness towards men MORE than she needed to be set free from it! In its way, Sue's new "friend group" functioned to remind Sue why hating men was better (and easier!) than forgiving men and moving forward with a renewed sense hope for her own relationship future (with men!)!
The Untethered Soul is the book, written by Michael Singer.
Freedom is always possible!
Until next post...
When this person calls, you are invited to appear on a specially televised broadcast where you will be interviewed by this person of your choice---with the broadcast streaming live all around the planet. No kidding! When the interview is completed, you will become "instant" famous yourself. There is no doubt of that.
As part of this opportunity, you do have the power to ensure that you are NOT asked certain questions about your past history, present life, and/or future fears. In this way, these questions would represent the experiences past and present that disturb you greatly..or that you most fear "might" happen in the future.
What specific questions do you want to make sure you are NOT asked during your interview?
Why?
Now decide what specific questions you want to make sure you ARE asked during your interview. What would those specific questions be that you would insist on being asked? In this way, these represent the experiences past and present that celebrate you greatly...or that you genuinely look forward to happening in the future.
Why?
Controlling the narrative of our current interactions, past experiences, and future concerns/plans is a huge problem for way too many of us. We don't even realize we are doing it 9/10ths of the time. We just "know" that we feel real "good" when someone tells us or validates us about how "great" we are; we also feel real "bad" when something is said or done that strikes a proverbial nerve within us. Not unlike the example presented at the start of this post, if we are going to be interviewed for a global broadcast, there is NO WAY in HADES that "we" are going to talk about the time I...... But we will DEFINITELY talk about what happened the other day when I....... It's how we roll folks. We want to be thought of, perceived as, and remembered for A, J, L, and W. However, nobody better EVER bring up C, D, E, F, S, and T again!
In his book, "The Untethered Soul", author Michael Singer talks about the issue of having a "thorn" stuck in our forearm as an analogy for how we typically "cope" with painful past events, present drama, crisis, and chaos, and/or anxieties and fears about the future. Without getting into the details here, I suggest picking up the book from your local library and giving it a read. In a nutshell, we have a choice: do we remove the thorn---or do we do everything and anything to ensure that the thorn we're "stuck" with inside us is NEVER disturbed?
Controlling our narrative to avoid being disturbed by our own past history, present problems, or future fears is something we all do to essentially prolong the agony of our own dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
Now stop and re-read that last sentence about ten times before you continue on here. (Not that I'm attempting to control the narrative (I AM!), but we need to ABSORB the truth of that message big time!) :-P
Maybe today is the time to stop and think about what we have been doing to avoid having our own inner "thorns" being touched by anyone or anything!
"Sue" is someone who has been divorced for five years. She hates men. She will admit it openly. She really does and without a doubt hates men. Why? As Sue would explain it, any man she truly cared about in her life and history ended up leaving her against her will. Her only brother ended up leaving the family as a young man and never looked back. Sue missed him terribly back then and still does to this very day. Her father left the family shortly after her brother's departure. Sue is still not sure why he left, but she dare not bring it up to either her father or mother to this very day. "I can't ask them why he left and they ultimately divorced!", Sue claims. "That's their personal business!" Hey, I can't make this stuff up. Next, Sue's first boyfriend seemed a dream come true, until she found out he was cheating on her. When Sue finally found who she believed was her "Mr. Right", her husband also ended up cheating on Sue and leaving her for the other woman. As a parting gift, Sue's husband made sure to tell her what a blankety-blank-blank "nut job" Sue was and THIS was the reason why he was leaving her.
Needless to say, Sue's history with men who mattered to her was more bad than good.
To protect herself and to avoid this heartbreak from "ever" happening again, Sue surrounded herself with other women who were similarly wounded (by men). It didn't make sense initially; why would any woman seek out this type of "support"? In Sue's case, she needed justification for her resentment and bitterness towards men MORE than she needed to be set free from it! In its way, Sue's new "friend group" functioned to remind Sue why hating men was better (and easier!) than forgiving men and moving forward with a renewed sense hope for her own relationship future (with men!)!
The Untethered Soul is the book, written by Michael Singer.
Freedom is always possible!
Until next post...