Whether we are talking about ourselves or someone else, we are a people who tend to exaggerate, embellish, omit or partially omit, inflate, deflate, and definitely tangle up the "truth" of any given situation or circumstance in order to satisfy our own emotional needs within that moment of time. In Bible speak, this is about "bearing false witness" against others and/or ourselves. We tend to pursue this dysfunctional pattern of relating to each other more naturally than we tell the truth! We are all human, but when we regularly engage in this pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we begin to lose our humanity (compassion and empathy towards ourselves and others) bit by little bit.
Real life reality may bite when it does, but it's worse when we keep confabulating (which means doctoring up or down the facts about...) what actually is! This means we live more subjectively than objectively when it comes to the reality we are living in. Instead of sticking to the facts/evidence of the circumstance under examination, we gotta spin it. We spin it up (false positive) or we spin it down (false negative) Or, at times, we spin it both ways (false positive and false negative depending on our mood and the day!). This is how and why people remain stuck or lost in their own drama(s) of life. Rather than working to solve our own problem(s)...or resolve our shared problem with another person...or dissolve the problem altogether because we have no control over it or it's outcome...we spin. And we spin some more...while forgetting we still have our "own" work to do in order to genuinely improve the quality of our OWN life! ;-)
If you want to be truly helpful to someone you love and care about, tell him/her/them the truth about "everything" the facts reveal with love and grace attached. Including yourself. Nobody improves the quality of their own lives by just thinking about it...or crying about it....or ignoring the work that is still yet to be done.
You are worthy and deserving of all the inner peace, authentic hope (for your own future), and personal happiness (joy-based, not based on having or getting "things" to make you happy!) that is available to you from the God who created you! He didn't screw you or your life up (or anybody else's for that matter!). We do it to our selves when we make destructive or self-destructive choices in the name of feeling good or better "right now".
Don't we get that yet? We should! People keep dying or gravely injuring themselves because they are too busy living in a twisted reality of their own making and design!
Time to stop that madness everyone! Our narratives need to be based on real life reality and the facts of our situation. When we keep spinning either false positive or false negative narratives because it's so much easier, we end up spinning ourselves further down into that abyss we already inhabit! Just stop!
Today is the new day! Do something different. Call someone. Read a book. Call a professional like myself who can come alongside and offer you a hand up.
Happy holidays 2020. The year we would all rather give back if we could...but can't. That's reality. Time to give yourself back to reality and make 2021 your best year ever! ;-)