Just this morning I saw a circular and crocheted afghan like no other. It was like viewing a painting in 3D! The design was beyond unique; the colors couldn't have been coordinated any better. And yet...what do you think the person who created this one-of-a-kind artwork posted? To paraphrase, "I am so disappointed; this blah-blah type of yarn ruined my work." What?!?!? She posted close ups of the afghan...and I swear I had no idea what part(s) of her work she was referencing. In response, I asked her to send it to me as I didn't see anything "wrong"....it was done in colors I find gorgeous...and WTF why is she being so critical of herself and what she created? And therein lies the rub dear readers....WTF is with us who are, as a matter of fact, highly critical of ourselves more often than not?!?!
Yesterday at work, same deal. The client came in....and began complaining about the situation "at work" and all the reasons why he was ruining himself there. The way he put it, I initially presumed he meant ruining himself by remaining employed in a toxic work environment; instead, he meant ruining himself by not working hard enough...by not producing to a greater degree....and by not coming up with the "right" solutions soon enough.
The other day...someone I know kept running herself down about why her romantic relationship was failing, in her own opinion. "I should have..." "If I only...." "I expect too much..." These things may have been true if she hadn't hooked herself up with a malignant narcissist, but she had. Once again, WTF?!
The Harsh Critic within is alive and well in way too many of us. What we don't understand, however, is WHY we get hooked in and locked in to this mentality of "I have to be perfect in order to be acceptable to others." Stop and think about THAT now for more than a minute puleeze!
When we truly and genuinely believe we are NOT o.k. as we are....we are ripe for the picking by all the dysfunctional kinds of thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviors that are out there to grab us up and take full control of our lives. No kidding! To view ourselves as UNacceptable generally speaking represents the proverbial KOD (Kiss of Death!) as far as the ways we will subsequently treat OURSELVES! Instead of treating ourselves as uniquely designed for specific purposes in this life we live...we treat ourselves like performance-based objects that are of NO good use unless what we do is "perfect". Spare me! Who can do perfect?! Uh, that would be NO-body!
So how and where did we learn to treat ourselves like performing monkeys instead of free-to-be-me-equals with everyone else we share this planet with? Well....take a look back and figure that out for yourself! Or...you can always call someone like me who can come up along side you and help you with your figuring.
It's a rough existence when we hate ourselves and/or hate what we don't do "perfect" enough in our own opinion! Killing the Harsh Critic residing within your soul isn't a bad idea for 2021. If you don't kill that beast within...it's bound to become more comfortable hanging out with you for as long as you let it.
Until next post...