When people reach a certain age, conversations tend to gravitate towards the "R" word: retirement. Grant it, I had imagined in this day and age (2022) that none of us would be as fixated on this "Do I?" or "Don't I?" as we may have been in decades past. After all, nobody "has" to retire just because they have worked for 30 or more years. On the other hand, reality is still reality. Out with the old and in with the new. That's the way it's always been. I just wish more people who have actually chosen to retire would do so considering the actual reality of their present lives! Not everyone evaluates their own retirement-related options thoughtfully enough in light of their own present-day realities! Today's blog post is about how "retirement" can be the worst decision when it represents the beginning of the end, OR the best decision when it represents a brand new beginning!
"Sandy" has worked since she was 15 years old. She is an educated woman who has a bachelor's degree in English. Sandy found out shortly after she graduated that jobs requiring an "English major" as a requirement were few and far between. "I don't know what I was thinking at the time", says Sandy. "I didn't want to be an English teacher...it's just that I really liked learning about and studying the English language!" As it turned out, Sandy found a job as a legal secretary and, after a few years, she went back to school to become a court stenographer. "At that time, school was quite expensive, but the program wasn't very long and I knew I could earn upwards of $50,000 a year once I graduated." As it turned out, this was Sandy's primary career until her retirement in November of 2019. "I worked for over 30 years in a field that I did genuinely enjoy, but once Covid hit, that was it. I knew I was done and would never go back to that same field in any capacity."
Since Sandy has been home and "retired" for the past 2.5 years, she has seriously considered finding something "else" to do career-wise to get her out of the house. "Nobody knows how boring it can be at home all day once you run out of home-improvement projects", Sandy claims. Still in decent health, Sandy came to see me after she found herself ruminating about whether or not she was losing ground mental-health wise....or if, in fact, she was living in a life of genuinely limited options for a woman of her age.
"June" is a wife, mother, and grandmother of six. June worked part time over the course of 25 years as a para pro in a special education classroom; however, ill health forced her to stop working about four years ago. "I loved working, but my body stopped cooperating with my mind", June admits. As her physical limitations forced her to quit her job, June found her social life dwindling also. "As soon as I wasn't able to physically get up and go like I used to, the phone eventually stopped ringing and my friendships basically dried up." For June, who now requires extra help to pursue her own activities of daily living, life has definitely narrowed down to a series of predictable routines on any given day. "If it wasn't for my husband and the network of people who come here to help me each day", says June, "I'd have to move into a long-term care facility." June is hoping to find something she can do on the computer as both a form of therapy---and a way to earn extra money. "My mind is fine, it's my body that isn't anymore."
"Phil" always worked. "Since I was 12!", states Phil. Now 83, Phil hasn't yet officially retired, but sees how things have changed dramatically for him over the past 20 years or so. "People used to come in my business and could sit and talk with me all day long if I let them," Phil reports. "Now, if I get one or two old timers who I know come out to see me once in a month, it feels like my birthday." Phil misses the inflow of customers...and friends...all of which decreased sharply since Covid. "I had some friends die from Covid. Others went into assisted living. My business is way down, though I still have to pay all the bills just like I did for the past 20 years", says Phil. "I don't have any idea what's coming up next, that's for sure."
For all three of these folks, remaining relevant and feeling useful is a huge deal. Not just kind of a huge deal, but a legitimate huge deal. Each are also in the stage and phase of life where we often ask ourselves, "What have I done with my life? What else is there left to achieve in my life? Did my life have any significance or meaning in the bigger scheme of things?"
For many people, we don't think about "What's next for me?" until we have to. People take their health for granted...their minds for granted...and/or the people in their lives for granted. If ever there was a time to STOP! and THINK! about what's next---anyone closing in on "retirement age" needs to do that sooner than later!
It is never too late to reinvent ourselves. As long as we draw breath, we can be of good use to some person, some cause, some organization, and/or some group to which we affiliate ourselves. With the three individuals mentioned in today's post, "Sandy" plugged herself into "Meet Up" online while also accepting a part-time job in her local community. "I picked a business that I shop at anyway, and the fit was perfect for me. I don't work more than 20 hours a week, so it really doesn't even feel like work when I'm there." As for the Meet up app, "I didn't want to do it at first. I felt ridiculous. Then I thought, well, if I don't do something I'm just going to sit at home anyway...so I might as well try it." Once Sandy tried it, she met another woman at her first outing who has since become a dear friend. "I didn't expect to meet or find Prince Charming, but having a lovely friend come out of my efforts made it all worth going. Now we to go events together which makes it even more fun."
June found her niche with online work. "I can't be on my feet for too long...but I can't just sit around for hours on end either. With my job, I can work when I want and just know when to get up and take a break...and for how long...before I get back to it." June also works about 20 hours a week, which has been an effective way to feel good about herself and her own contribution. "I am working for a group whose clients are special needs individuals and their families. So for me, it's a win-win." June's husband has been happy to see the change in June since she started working online. "I know this may sound over the top, but June has really blossomed since she got back to doing something where she's needed by other people." No kidding. Isn't that what most people want? To be needed and have their contribution(s) matter!
As for Phil, he eventually decided to shut up shop and make the move to New Mexico, where his only son lives with his family. "They know I'm coming out in October, so we are on the hunt now for a little apartment in his immediate area", says Phil. "I don't know what the future holds, but it's o.k. whatever it is."
Whatever it is....we can look forward to it when our thinking and our attitude are aligned in a positive direction. Nobody owes us a good moment, day, or life. We owe that to ourselves. When we make gratitude our closest companion, we WILL be fine no matter what our age! ;-)
Until next post....