As I have been preparing these blog posts on the topic of psychosis, I've been getting feedback from adult children who "still" aren't sure if their mother/father/primary caregiver were psychotic while he/she/they were growing up. Here's a clue: if your parent/caregiver couldn't get up, dress up, and/or show up for real life so as to appropriately function in it every single day both inside and outside of the family residence---chances are quite high that he or she had been experiencing psychosis.
Huh what?! What if my parent was really depressed a lot of the time? ....but my grandma was just always sick and she really couldn't leave the house! Well my mom couldn't go anywhere unless it was her and my dad because we kids drove her too crazy in the car.
Listen. To. Me. Now. When a person has to create an alternate universe (of any type, size, or shape!) so as to "cope" with his or her own life on a daily basis, that represents a HUGE red flag that psychosis may most likely be a part of their ongoing narrative, o.k.? Let's look at some examples:
"Joe"'s mental status started to change after he began experiencing some physical problems involving his gross and fine motor skills. At first, the doctors thought Joe might be developing Parkinson's disease. However, when Joe's wife woke up one morning at 3AM, she saw Joe standing on her side of the bed staring down at her. When she asked him what was wrong and if he needed anything, Joe said nothing. He just kept staring. That was the first time Joe's wife felt afraid for her own safety. "He wasn't smiling; he wasn't saying anything...he was just staring at me as if in a trance," she states.
Over the next few weeks, Joe's wife noticed that Joe got very upset very quickly whenever he saw a bill come through the mail or his wife mentioned anything to do with money or family finances. "He was never the type to get all worked up over financial issues as we were always very comfortable financially," she claims. "Yet, the first time he actually came at me physically, with the clear intention of hurting me, it was over something he THOUGHT I said about money, instead of what I actually did say. That incident involved me having to contact our local police, who took over and got him real help that very night."
Upon further visits to the doctor, which Joe was highly resistant about following through on anyway...he was given a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia. "One of the big secrets about Lewy Body is that nobody wants to talk about the psychosis that typically accompanies this diagnosis", says Joe's wife. "It took me years to figure out on my own how Lewy Body messes with both the body and the brain." She adds that once she found out about the comedian Robin Williams having been diagnosed with Lewy Body before he committed suicide, it made better sense to Joe's wife what Joe had been going through. "Hallucinations, paranoid thinking, delusions...it was all there when I think about Joe's behavior in recent years", his wife reports. "He never tried to actually commit suicide, but he kept threatening to when he was the most upset at me."
Joe died recently (natural causes) after a several years-long battle with Lewy Body. "I know he is at peace now, and I'm grateful for that", states his wife. "However, I am still angry with the Veteran's Administration for skirting around the whole truth about Lewy Body so I could have understood it better and sooner than I did by researching it on my own."
"Karen" always wondered about her mother's behavior when she was a child. "She just didn't fit into the real world and she knew it", states Karen. "My mother was literally in La-La land and rarely communicated unless she wanted something from me or my father. And if she was present, which was rarely, she was always looking for a reason to get and be angry! Any little thing she didn't expect or anticipate happening sent her right into orbit."
Once Karen's parents divorced and Karen herself moved out of state, her mother's mental health continued to deteriorate. "One clue was she started writing on the walls of our house. Just random messages to "trespassers" was the primary content." "Hell is where her home was at that time; she was always looking for where "they" put "it" to spy on her." When Karen insisted on taking her mom for a mental status exam at the PCP's office, her mom passed it! "I realize now that mental status exams in the doctor's office are usually focused on looking for dementia and not psychosis", Karen had since realized. "My mother didn't have dementia; in fact, she could remember transgressions committed against her going back to her own childhood! That wasn't the problem. Yet presuming that "they" were coming into her house to mess with her clothes or her cats or her makeup was."
Eventually, a specific incident led to Karen's mom being sectioned and taken to a nearby inpatient psychiatric unit for evaluation and treatment. "She was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder which made sense of everything I witnessed growing up", claims Karen. "Schizoaffective is literally Bipolar Disorder combined with psychosis whenever a mood change occurs either up or down. When my mother was manic, she was definitely more paranoid about "them" coming to mess with her or her cats. When my mother was depressed, her psychosis took the form of her not doing anything. Not answering the phone or the door or even going outside to get the mail or the newspaper---for days."
Karen's mother is now deceased. She lived to the ripe old age of 92 before passing away. "I wish the psychiatrists involved in her case could have found the right combination of medications to decrease her incidences of psychosis while she was with us, but it just didn't happen."
"Susie" is in 4th grade. Susie knows something is wrong with her mom because she won't ever go anywhere unless it's just her and Susie's dad going alone together. "I play music at school and my mom won't come see me when I have a concert", says Susie. Susie's dad has come to see Susie with her Aunt Judy and Uncle Pete. That's been nice, but Susie wants her mom to be there too when Susie does something important at school. "I don't think my mom likes having a kid", adds Susie. In reality, Susie's mom has agoraphobia and has struggled with wanting to "stay home" ever since she was a young teenager. "I just don't like people very much", Susie's mom explains. It's more than that, of course, but Susie's mom refuses to go for outside help. "My husband is here. He is my help. Without his support, I would probably be dead right now." Meanwhile, Susie suffers along with her mom and her dad....
Vera is 19. She smokes weed just like most of her friends and co-workers. Except Vera is getting more and more disturbed by what she thinks about and feels when she's high. It's not fun anymore. It used to be fun, but it just isn't anymore. It was suggested that Vera start watching youtube videos about the topic of "Weed Psychosis". Vera gave that suggestion a hard pass. "Why should I watch something like that just to flip myself out?" replied Vera. Well Vera, when life is hard---you have to change---that's why!
Psychosis has many flavors to it, just like ice cream. Yet isn't it ironic how when we are exposed to it within our own close circle of family and/or friend relationships....we don't want to go there in case we are correct! Psychosis is not a death sentence. It CAN be successfully managed, but it takes commitment and dedication to find the right medication protocol to reduce the worst of one's symptoms.
There are countless videos on youtube, right now, about "psychosis". It may be worth checking a few of them out for your own sake....or for the sake of someone you love and care about. Doing nothing is a decision. And when you do nothing, nothing will change, that is for certain.
Until next post....