Very recently, a young couple I know quite well decided to call it quits. To put it bluntly, she wanted a "ring and a date" while he wanted a "bang and a beer". Clearly, they were not on the same page. Tragically, they had been together long enough to combine their households, create a new one together, and start a family...
Even though I am old enough to understand many things...I still don't understand why so many couples completely ignore the obvious when it comes to identifying, expressing, and attaining their "heart's desire". I've seen people lie through their teeth to one another about "it" (their heart's desire)...I've seen people ignore "it" completely and just adopt their beloved's "it" as their own...I've seen all kinds of ridiculous twists and turns on this theme. And I can't help but wonder why?
How "scarey" is it REALLY to just say what you mean and mean what you say when it comes to identifying what you want (your "heart's desire" in this case) to a potential life partner? I can remember when I had a friend at age 18 who kept telling me (and everyone else she could spend more than 10 minutes with) how much she wanted to be "married". All she wanted was a husband and a family. That was it. That was her heart's desire. Well---at least she was being forthright and honest about it! Yet when she "met" a potential candidate to fill the slot---she NEVER articulated to him that this was her dream. Not at all. Eventually, they did get married---but when he stood his ground about the "kids" issue (he wanted none)...that's what broke them up for real and for sure. Geez...seems to me they could have saved themselves a lot of grief if she had just been open and honest with him from the beginning...but she wasn't.
I recall another friend who kept saying "When I get married, I'm going to treat my wife like gold and give her 5 carat diamond ring and treat our kids like the people they are and never ignore them or make them do just what I want..." Yadda yadda yadda. Well, it all sounded good...but he went through about fifteen "important" relationships before he "found" his ideal mate when he was 45 years old and she was 23. She never did get a diamond ring either...let alone a 5 carat. She was with him for 8 years before he ditched her for the woman he ultimately did marry. By then, they were both too old to have children....so "who knows" at what point his heart's desire actually changed---if it ever did in the first place.
Being real isn't always easy...but it's the only way to go. The Velveteen Rabbit knew this...why is it as people we have such a hard time with this principle ourselves?
Think about that this week as you ponder your "heart's desire"....
