When was the last time someone said to you, "You owe me!" Did you ever stop to think WHY you would be targeted in such a way? I mean, let's face it. Doesn't the expression by its very nature presume that you (or I) took something from our accuser and now they want whatever back from you in return? I know that's how I look at it. So---when speaking with my elderly aunt the other day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. With every request she made, she was basically also communicating to me this "You owe me!" mentality.
I don't know about you, but it's very interesting to me how and why this mentality is so common amongst couples, friends, family members, and anyone else who has known one another for more than a minute. For one thing, "you owe me" means that someone or another feels robbed. On top of that, this same person believes they "know" who did the robbing! And not only that, they want "justice" their own way! Wow! Talk about working against a judicial system that has already been established to handle such matters in a court of law! What a way to live! For the "You owe me!" accuser, it has to be extremely rough thinking up and ruminating (that would be thinking about something over and over again) on some "issue" before identifying your accused target. And for the targets out there, it has to be hard wondering who wants a piece of your scalp next. Just because you exist...just because you have "a better life"...or just because you are the nearest and most convenient target.
Don't misunderstand me; there are people out there who really DO legitimately "owe" someone a whole heck of a lot. But that's not what this post today is about. This post is about those who blindly point a finger and say, "Give it to me now because you have it and I don't!" Really?!? Now that's what I call robbery, plain and simple!
I've seen train wreck parents, long-term addicts, gangsters, and other n'er do wells play this card of "You owe me!" way too often in my personal and professional lives both. But I've also seen this card played by adult survivors of (insert abuse history here), narcissistic and fantasy-driven dreamers, and anyone else who avoids personal responsibility at all costs. Yes, that about sums it up. The people who are so quick to say "You owe me!" are the same ones who believe someone else is responsible for their good week, their good day, their good moment...and very often, their good life.
Maybe this is a good time to think about all those people in your life who you DO believe "owe" you and why. All of this thinking, I hate to say it, is part of the process of removing yourself from that throne you established when creating your Empire of the Self.
Until we meet again...
I don't know about you, but it's very interesting to me how and why this mentality is so common amongst couples, friends, family members, and anyone else who has known one another for more than a minute. For one thing, "you owe me" means that someone or another feels robbed. On top of that, this same person believes they "know" who did the robbing! And not only that, they want "justice" their own way! Wow! Talk about working against a judicial system that has already been established to handle such matters in a court of law! What a way to live! For the "You owe me!" accuser, it has to be extremely rough thinking up and ruminating (that would be thinking about something over and over again) on some "issue" before identifying your accused target. And for the targets out there, it has to be hard wondering who wants a piece of your scalp next. Just because you exist...just because you have "a better life"...or just because you are the nearest and most convenient target.
Don't misunderstand me; there are people out there who really DO legitimately "owe" someone a whole heck of a lot. But that's not what this post today is about. This post is about those who blindly point a finger and say, "Give it to me now because you have it and I don't!" Really?!? Now that's what I call robbery, plain and simple!
I've seen train wreck parents, long-term addicts, gangsters, and other n'er do wells play this card of "You owe me!" way too often in my personal and professional lives both. But I've also seen this card played by adult survivors of (insert abuse history here), narcissistic and fantasy-driven dreamers, and anyone else who avoids personal responsibility at all costs. Yes, that about sums it up. The people who are so quick to say "You owe me!" are the same ones who believe someone else is responsible for their good week, their good day, their good moment...and very often, their good life.
Maybe this is a good time to think about all those people in your life who you DO believe "owe" you and why. All of this thinking, I hate to say it, is part of the process of removing yourself from that throne you established when creating your Empire of the Self.
Until we meet again...