Everyone has something they don't want to face. Yet, as the old saying goes, everything that changes (for the better!) is always faced, though everything that's faced doesn't always change. These "things" we don't like facing are called lots of things; the term I love to use best is "catastrophic truths".
Catastophic truths. Where would any of us be without them? Show me a person who doesn't have some catastrophic truth (or ten or twenty!) that they avoid facing like the plague...and I'll show you someone who is dead. Seriously. Nobody alive on this planet is catastrophic-truth free. We all have them. We all carry them around like filled-to-the-brim loads of garbage. The problem lies in whether our catastrophic truths are truly "real"...or merely imagined in our own minds. Beyond that, whether our catstrophic truths can be solved or resolved if, indeed, they are legitimate and occurring right now in our present lives...
Just today on Dr. Phil, one of his old shows from nearly ten years ago was entitled "Stepford Wives" and had to do with women who felt obsessed with behaving "perfectly" in order to be acceptable to those around them. One women being featured on the show was so into avoiding her own catastrophic truth on this issue that she lied constantly about what she was doing whenever she got a phone call at home. "I'm just putting a roast in the oven..", or "I just was baking cookies for the kids..". I mean this woman had it bad. It may sound far-fetched, but I was immediately reminded of someone from my own life who is very similar. If you call her, she seems to have a million and one reasons why she can't do anything else but babysit her grandchildren, prepare meals, and/or clean her home (in that order). As the lady on Dr. Phil said when pressed as to "why" she behaved in the ways she did---she said she felt "worthless" and that she would be "found out" if she honestly expressed herself to others. Wow. And yet behaving like a Stepford wife who has it all together by being "productively busy" every moment of every day was going to convey an authentically positive image? I tell ya, we are notorious for believing our own fantasy-based press releases when it comes to who and what we "think" we are presenting to the world around us! People are generally not as dumb as we like to believe them to be. If you are spinning yourself out with "being busy" 24/7 in service to your (insert objects of obsession here)...the rest of us "see" that and notice it too. Don't kid yourself. You're not as bad as you think you are...but you're not as good either.
I once heard denial described as a "shock absorber for the soul". That's true when a person has been through some traumatic life event and can't "cope" with all the ramnifications of having 100% recall of what happened to them and when. Yet the type of denial being alluded to in today's post is very different. This "other" type of denial is what gives license to a person to behave as badly and as dysfunctionally as they want to without even considering the "further" damage they are causing by their own actions. Inotherwords, denying your own catastrophic truths while creating "new" pain in the lives of others is NOT a good thing---ever. Like the person I referenced earlier who functions as everyone else's "savior" in her own family system...but in the meantime is teaching them all how to remain irresponsible, pleasure-driven, and in denial themselves about their own shortcomings. Wow. What kind of legacy is that? A pretty crappy one if you ask me...if you are asking that is!
Catastrophic truths won't kill you. Facing them is the first step in setting yourself free from their impact. Do you think you're the first person on planet earth who feels or has felt "worthless" unless you.....?? Unless you (insert your fantasy-based press released here). I am also reminded of all these Generation Y'ers who have it really bad (unfortunately!) for being raised to believe if they take a poop, they deserve a trophy for it. How horrible must it be to want and strive for all the "great things" that life has to offer materially speaking...and yet be literally bankrupted in so many ways from the inside out. Getting something for nothing rarely works...and even when it seems like it works, it doesn't for very long. (Think Bernie Madoff folks; he and his ilk are supposed to have taught us a great deal about insatiable greed and what it ultimately leads to.) I wonder how many of those Generation Y'ers have also had mothers like the one described earlier (you know..the "savior" type of mama bear!).
If you know you have issues with facing what you don't want to face.....that's what psychotherapy is for. I mean if you have done life so far your way and find yourself still miserable (in whatever ways you define your misery!)...don't you think that "now" is a good time to try something different with someone who can at least guide you through the process of getting your inner stuff together and in a new and healthier way? Everyone does deserve to know and experience inner peace "naturally" and for more than a few minutes. Your chance for change is now. Take it because you ARE worth it.
Catastophic truths. Where would any of us be without them? Show me a person who doesn't have some catastrophic truth (or ten or twenty!) that they avoid facing like the plague...and I'll show you someone who is dead. Seriously. Nobody alive on this planet is catastrophic-truth free. We all have them. We all carry them around like filled-to-the-brim loads of garbage. The problem lies in whether our catastrophic truths are truly "real"...or merely imagined in our own minds. Beyond that, whether our catstrophic truths can be solved or resolved if, indeed, they are legitimate and occurring right now in our present lives...
Just today on Dr. Phil, one of his old shows from nearly ten years ago was entitled "Stepford Wives" and had to do with women who felt obsessed with behaving "perfectly" in order to be acceptable to those around them. One women being featured on the show was so into avoiding her own catastrophic truth on this issue that she lied constantly about what she was doing whenever she got a phone call at home. "I'm just putting a roast in the oven..", or "I just was baking cookies for the kids..". I mean this woman had it bad. It may sound far-fetched, but I was immediately reminded of someone from my own life who is very similar. If you call her, she seems to have a million and one reasons why she can't do anything else but babysit her grandchildren, prepare meals, and/or clean her home (in that order). As the lady on Dr. Phil said when pressed as to "why" she behaved in the ways she did---she said she felt "worthless" and that she would be "found out" if she honestly expressed herself to others. Wow. And yet behaving like a Stepford wife who has it all together by being "productively busy" every moment of every day was going to convey an authentically positive image? I tell ya, we are notorious for believing our own fantasy-based press releases when it comes to who and what we "think" we are presenting to the world around us! People are generally not as dumb as we like to believe them to be. If you are spinning yourself out with "being busy" 24/7 in service to your (insert objects of obsession here)...the rest of us "see" that and notice it too. Don't kid yourself. You're not as bad as you think you are...but you're not as good either.
I once heard denial described as a "shock absorber for the soul". That's true when a person has been through some traumatic life event and can't "cope" with all the ramnifications of having 100% recall of what happened to them and when. Yet the type of denial being alluded to in today's post is very different. This "other" type of denial is what gives license to a person to behave as badly and as dysfunctionally as they want to without even considering the "further" damage they are causing by their own actions. Inotherwords, denying your own catastrophic truths while creating "new" pain in the lives of others is NOT a good thing---ever. Like the person I referenced earlier who functions as everyone else's "savior" in her own family system...but in the meantime is teaching them all how to remain irresponsible, pleasure-driven, and in denial themselves about their own shortcomings. Wow. What kind of legacy is that? A pretty crappy one if you ask me...if you are asking that is!
Catastrophic truths won't kill you. Facing them is the first step in setting yourself free from their impact. Do you think you're the first person on planet earth who feels or has felt "worthless" unless you.....?? Unless you (insert your fantasy-based press released here). I am also reminded of all these Generation Y'ers who have it really bad (unfortunately!) for being raised to believe if they take a poop, they deserve a trophy for it. How horrible must it be to want and strive for all the "great things" that life has to offer materially speaking...and yet be literally bankrupted in so many ways from the inside out. Getting something for nothing rarely works...and even when it seems like it works, it doesn't for very long. (Think Bernie Madoff folks; he and his ilk are supposed to have taught us a great deal about insatiable greed and what it ultimately leads to.) I wonder how many of those Generation Y'ers have also had mothers like the one described earlier (you know..the "savior" type of mama bear!).
If you know you have issues with facing what you don't want to face.....that's what psychotherapy is for. I mean if you have done life so far your way and find yourself still miserable (in whatever ways you define your misery!)...don't you think that "now" is a good time to try something different with someone who can at least guide you through the process of getting your inner stuff together and in a new and healthier way? Everyone does deserve to know and experience inner peace "naturally" and for more than a few minutes. Your chance for change is now. Take it because you ARE worth it.