Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) are a problem for all of us. Some psychotherapy professionals call our ANTs negative "self talk"; others refer to it as our negative "core beliefs". Whatever we call it, it happens to everyone and not just some of us. I know I have mentioned before how the average person generates between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts every single day. Of these thoughts, over 90% of them we thought about yesterday too! But here it comes; over 80% of our daily thoughts are also NEGATIVE IN NATURE! And you thought you were the only one who had issues with "stinkin' thinkin'"? We all do!
This is why the ability to think about our own thinking...and challenge our own negative thoughts is a BIG part of anyone's healing, positive change, and personal growth process. When we do not develop the helpful habit of thinking about our own thinking in this way...we end up believing our own inflated and/or pretty rotten press released about ourselves, about other people, and about the world around us.
We just can't help it in that it is MUCH easier for us to be subjective rather than objective about virtually anyone or anything we think about. We tend to either wear rose colored glasses too much of the time...or black shades too much of the time. We put false positive spins on people and circumstances that aren't truly as great or wonderful as we think (and believe!) they are; we also put false negative spins on people and circumstances that aren't truly as bleak or horrible as we think (and believe!) they are. We do this because it's easier to assume "we know" something that we don't really know about at all..until we ask and find out for ourselves. And asking and finding out for ourselves can just be so much work to do! We assume and presume so much about so many things...and so many people...it's like we're living inside a television screen acting out the same old script over and over again each and every day. There is no room for change, no room for clarity, no room for a better and mutual understanding...no room for anything except what we ourselves "think"!
Over time and without appropriate intervention, we can end up living our own lives based on what we want to believe is true as opposed to what is authentically and objectively true. Oh by the way, this is what denial looks like in case anyone forgot. It is also a convenient excuse to behave exactly how we want regardless of the "truth" of any given circumstance or situation. Have you ever seen someone melt down over a mistake made with their food at a restaurant? Kind of like that. People have these major negative and over-blown reactions to otherwise honest mistakes...and can't pull themselves back together fast enough. Or...conversely, people find out something horrible like their kid has been being molested by "Uncle John" for the past five years---and then react like "Uh huh...do you mind passing the butter dear?" All of this taken together leads to a person living in la-la land instead of real-life-right-now reality...and a person who doesn't believe anything outside of his or her own "thoughts" about ANYthing!
Stomping out our ANTs is what we do to challenge and then get rid of our own negative thoughts. First and foremost, however, we need to be aware of the specific "species" of ANTs living in our own mind. To stomp out random ANTs here and there isn't going to be as effective for us over the long haul if we don't even know what species our ANTs come from! Kind of like when your house has "something" in it that is making noises within the walls, but you have to idea what "it" is exactly. Unless you are working with a professional exterminator who knows what to bring with him or her to help identify the specific types of critters you have...and then stomp them out accordingly...you'll find yourself back where you started next time you hear noises in yours walls!
Next time, the first four of the nine different species of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) we may struggle with and how each relates to your own life and experience with past and present ANT infestations!
See you next time...
This is why the ability to think about our own thinking...and challenge our own negative thoughts is a BIG part of anyone's healing, positive change, and personal growth process. When we do not develop the helpful habit of thinking about our own thinking in this way...we end up believing our own inflated and/or pretty rotten press released about ourselves, about other people, and about the world around us.
We just can't help it in that it is MUCH easier for us to be subjective rather than objective about virtually anyone or anything we think about. We tend to either wear rose colored glasses too much of the time...or black shades too much of the time. We put false positive spins on people and circumstances that aren't truly as great or wonderful as we think (and believe!) they are; we also put false negative spins on people and circumstances that aren't truly as bleak or horrible as we think (and believe!) they are. We do this because it's easier to assume "we know" something that we don't really know about at all..until we ask and find out for ourselves. And asking and finding out for ourselves can just be so much work to do! We assume and presume so much about so many things...and so many people...it's like we're living inside a television screen acting out the same old script over and over again each and every day. There is no room for change, no room for clarity, no room for a better and mutual understanding...no room for anything except what we ourselves "think"!
Over time and without appropriate intervention, we can end up living our own lives based on what we want to believe is true as opposed to what is authentically and objectively true. Oh by the way, this is what denial looks like in case anyone forgot. It is also a convenient excuse to behave exactly how we want regardless of the "truth" of any given circumstance or situation. Have you ever seen someone melt down over a mistake made with their food at a restaurant? Kind of like that. People have these major negative and over-blown reactions to otherwise honest mistakes...and can't pull themselves back together fast enough. Or...conversely, people find out something horrible like their kid has been being molested by "Uncle John" for the past five years---and then react like "Uh huh...do you mind passing the butter dear?" All of this taken together leads to a person living in la-la land instead of real-life-right-now reality...and a person who doesn't believe anything outside of his or her own "thoughts" about ANYthing!
Stomping out our ANTs is what we do to challenge and then get rid of our own negative thoughts. First and foremost, however, we need to be aware of the specific "species" of ANTs living in our own mind. To stomp out random ANTs here and there isn't going to be as effective for us over the long haul if we don't even know what species our ANTs come from! Kind of like when your house has "something" in it that is making noises within the walls, but you have to idea what "it" is exactly. Unless you are working with a professional exterminator who knows what to bring with him or her to help identify the specific types of critters you have...and then stomp them out accordingly...you'll find yourself back where you started next time you hear noises in yours walls!
Next time, the first four of the nine different species of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) we may struggle with and how each relates to your own life and experience with past and present ANT infestations!
See you next time...