People don't like to think about their experiences with unwelcome panic and anxiety. Yet what do you do when profound feelings of dread, impending doom, and high anxiety suddenly crop up at some random time of your day or night? Is what you are going through in those moments due to some purely physiological glitch in your own matrix? Are you literally losing your mind? Whatever may be driving that train, today's blog post is about what you can do when you don't know what else to do when your body and mind goes into a fight/flight/freeze response for no discernable reason(s).
There is nothing worse than being asleep in the middle of the night...or being seated around the conference table during an important morning meeting at work...when you find yourself starting to believe and think "Oh no! I can't have this happen to me now! I'm going to lose it! Keep focused on where I am right now! I am o.k. I am not dying! It's just a feeling; it will pass!" (or whatever else you start saying to yourself!)
When the panic comes....it can and usually does come in waves. Waves such as being initially surprised by the feelings (because they are always surprising even if they've happened to you a 100 times or 1000 times before!)...and then imagining the worst possible catastrophic outcomes as a result of those feelings: "I am dying and I don't want to die!" "I have to call 911 right now!" "I have to get the hell out of this room right now!" "I'll be fired!" "I'll be exposed as a nut job!" "If I leave where I am right now, I'll never come back!" etc. etc. etc. Once we put ourselves through all those mental gymnastics, the next wave can involve becoming desperate to do or take "something" to immediately fix our problem.
This is when we have to reel ourselves back into the reality of "now" and not do or take something that will cause us literal or figurative "further" harm. So...what do we do?
First, we have to re-focus our thoughts and our behaviors on slowing down and more deeply breathing. Yes, you already knew that and so did I, but it sure is amazing how easy it is to forget about our breathing when we feel intense anxiety and/or panic! So---what works for you to help you breathe better in this type of situation? Some people swear by the "4,7, 8" rule. That means breathing in through your nose for a count of 4, then holding your breath for a count of 7, and then finally exhaling through your mouth for a count of 8. And not like "1234!" breaths in through your nose---but "1, 1000, 2, 1000, 3, 1000, 4, 1000" breaths in through your nose...
Breathe six or fewer cycles of breath in-and-out within each minute of time. When you can breathe in and out one cycle in ten seconds of time...do that six times each minute---and then repeat that pattern for at least 3-5 minutes...it will be physiologically impossible for you to remain "as panicked" as you were when you started breathing slowly and more deeply like this. It's true. Yay for that!
Beyond the breathing slowly and more deeply, some people also prefer to "flood" their senses with other soothing and calming inputs that promote the reduction of catastrophic beliefs, thoughts, and desires to act out in an inappropriate manner. How do we do this? Let's look at some options:
"Sight-based" inputs: Looking at online images that bring you joy, comfort, and peace. Images of the ocean at dawn or sunset, natural landscapes, animals, birds, butterflies, angels...whatever works for you. If you have a television set in front of you, search for subject matter that most appeals to your sense of hope and wonder. Others find that reading from inspirational and spiritual-based books like the Bible, Koran, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Daily Devotionals, etc. is most helpful in this regard. This would not be the time to seek out imagery or reading materials that incite, disturb, or otherwise upset you. Let your eyes see whatever they need to see to soothe, calm, and relax yourself from the inside out. If you are at work, focus on something or someone in the room which you need to describe in excruciating detail to someone else as if that other person were blind.
"Smell-based" inputs: Do you have favorite scented candles you can light nearby to you...or a scented room spray...or a scented essential oil you can rub into your temples and/or inner wrists? Lavendar is one fragrance that works to calm us down when agitated. There are other scents that also work to achieve this purpose. Figure that out if you haven't yet..so you can get over to TJ Maxx or Homegoods to find your fragrance and bring it home! At work, this might be a bit of a challenge to pull off, but to excuse yourself to the bathroom to "spritz" yourself with your favorite fragrance or essential oil (travel size) may do the trick.
"Hearing-based" inputs: When we are highly anxious and/or experiencing a panic attack, it helps when we can receive "interactive" input as we are trying to help ourselves calm down. Have you ever asked Alexa or Siri "I am having a panic attack, what should I do?" As you might imagine, both sources will point you to slower and deeper breathing and then asking yourself some logic-driven questions about your thoughts versus the reality of your present circumstances. At work, you can literally practice a very quiet hum discernable to no one else but you. The sound of one own's voice, no matter how faint, has a way of helping in this regard. This works best when the room has several people in it and not just yourself and one other person.
Others have found that calling a 1-800 or 1-866 hotline number dedicated to mental health crises (such as high anxiety and/or a panic episode) is helpful. The one you select is up to you. Funny story; a client called a hotline one night and got an automated voice message asking some demographic questions about his household. He got so mad, he immediately felt less panicky! Whatever works! ;-)
Of course asking Alexa or Siri to play a type of music known to calm and soothe even the most savage of beast (panic!) works. Like "Soothing Classical Music" for one thing. Try it. It does work. I am reminded of the time frame during my 30s when I played only classical music in my car when running errands. I had forgotten how important that genre of music was in helping me to always remain cool, calm, and collected no matter what I was literally going through.
"Taste-based" inputs: Anything you can taste which is extremely bitter, sour, "strong"...these are the things you would want to "taste" to get yourself back to the here and now and out of your own catastrophic thoughts! Altoids breath mints....a mini bottle of hot sauce so you can administer a few drops on your tongue...biting into a lemon or lime wedge...a hard and super sour candy or "gum" (Warheads is one recommended brand as well as Fireball red hot hard candies). These all work to get your taste buds stimulated to help you distract yourself away from that which is mentally tormenting you...
"Touch-based" inputs: Oprah's favorite loungewear for 2023 were the "Softies" brand. When you feel the fabric of a "Softie"..you understand how and why it became her favorite "touch-based" inputs for clothing. It feels like a body-sized hug. You can create the same effect with having on hand a throw blanket, a literal blanket, a stuffie (stuffed animal), or an oversized pillow that made from your favorite and most comforting fabric of choice. Might be real fur...might be faux fur...might be satin...might be fleece...might be a favorite sweatshirt or pair of pajamas. Find your "touch"-based input(s) and use them now when you need to wrap yourself up in that which relaxes you. At work, a "fidget" in your pocket may be all you need to help soothe you in this way.
Prayer is powerful. Don't forget about who you are as a child of God and the Universe we inhabit while we are here. Prayer takes us out of ourselves and into the arms of He who created us. Even if you have no idea "what" to pray, the shortest prayer ever still consists of the same four letters we've each uttered a billion times over since the dawn of mankind: "Help!"
And when the "Help!" comes and we make it through to the other side of our anxiety and panic, we are grateful.
Until next post....