I get it about standing at the crossroads of some major decision in one's life. I think we all do. Regardless if the decision yet to be made is based on a new opportunity...or an old problem...not everyone is adept at pulling their own trigger of decision. Why is this? Why are we so hesitant to do what we know deep down is the right-est thing to do? Today's blog post addresses our reluctance to move ourselves past our present situation and into new, and uncharted, territory.
In recent weeks, talk show host Wendy Williams has been a focus of great media scrutiny. To make a very long story short, Wendy is the host of "The Wendy Williams Show" on daytime t.v.. You either love her...or hate her. There is no middle ground. She begins each program with her "How YOU doin'?!" shtick. She is a big girl (nearly 6' tall) who wears a different wig every day...and who is known for telling it like it is. As in telling the "truth" about celebrities and their goings on as part of her "Hot Topics" opening segment each day. I happen to like her....but it is clear her personal life in recent months has eclipsed any celebrity drama she has ever presented on her show....
Wendy isn't pulling the trigger...or at least not as of this writing. Her husband and manager has allegedly been involved in a decade-old affair with a 30 year old woman, who just had his baby (allegedly!) this past Monday somewhere in Pennsylvania. Wendy, by the way, is 54 years old, her husband is 47, and they share a son who is college age. Beyond the alleged facts about Wendy's husband's affair, it is believed that Wendy's husband bankrolled his girlfriend's house nearby to where he and Wendy share their home...along with the girlfriend's training as a certified masseuse. Whatever. I mean if Wendy wasn't famous in her own right, would anyone care? Not really. Couples (sadly!) are agreeing more and more to this type of crazy arrangement as the new generations pop up to replace the one(s) who came before them. But that's another story for another blog post. (By the way, a friend just told me the other day that he and his wife were in Miami not too long ago...and some random couple from another country approached them at the bar for sex. WTF?! But hey---it was Miami and this is 2019! God help us all!)
What nobody has anticipated about this Wendy situation is how Wendy, herself, has been throwing herself under the bus as we have all watched it unfold on her daytime talk show. I know I am not getting the sequence correct here, but I remember watching her one day dressed up like Lady Liberty..and then she starts teetering and tottering on air like she was about to pass out. That was the first "What up?!" I remember thinking. That was several months ago. Then she made a statement about having been diagnosed with Graves disease and needing treatment for that. Then she slurred her words while addressing her audience on another show; that was attributed to medication use associated with fracturing her arm or shoulder or whatever it was. THEN she was off the air for a couple of months with a series of guest hosts standing in for her (which I didn't watch, by the way!). When she returned, she stood by her man (shout out to Tammy Wynette God rest her soul!)...and then the next thing we know, she's telling us on air she's living in a sober house in Queens....she's struggling with ??? (that wasn't ever made clear but she admits to having had a former problem with cocaine use and abuse)...and then after her husband's alleged mistress dropped that baby this past Monday, Wendy was reported to have been rushed to the hospital the other night. Why? Allegedly she bounced herself out of the sober house and found her way back to Jersey where she resides and got herself intoxicated.
OK...if the term "sh** show" hasn't yet entered your mind as you read this, give me a call and let me help you out with that o.k.? I feel extremely bad for Wendy; I think we all do who know and love her work. She obviously LOVES her husband above and beyond the call of duty if any of these allegations are accurate...but this self-destructive behavior is NOT GOOD by any stretch of the imagination! It just isn't! I am reminded of all the women I have seen (or have known personally!) who have behaved in a similar enough manner when confronted with their husband's alleged "drama" in whatever form that takes...or took at the time. Infidelity...drinking...gambling....white collar criminal behavior....sexual assault....even murder. I mean---at what point does a woman stand up for herself and say "Enough is enough!" At what point does a woman pull that trigger and say "I'm done here and it's time to move on.." and then really do it?
I don't know Wendy or her husband. For all I know, Wendy might be a whole other kind of woman behind closed doors. Who knows? What I do know is that nobody deserves to be treated...or treat themselves in a way that is unbecoming to them. (Shout out to Dr. Phil!)
For anyone who finds themselves in a relationship scenario that they feel overwhelmed by, that's what psychotherapy with a licensed professional is for. To help you wade through the muck and get to the truth of your circumstances...so you can make the best decision for yourself and/or your minor child(ren). We all are works in progress until the day we die, but if we don't know how to do our own work...or keep resisting doing what's right for ourselves right now...nothing is going to change. And that may be the absolutely worst outcome of all.
Until next post...
If you need help for your own problem(s) with addiction and/or mental health, there is a toll free national hotline to call. It is 1-800-662-HELP. You will then be referred to the right number to contact for your specific issue of concern (such as sex addiction, opioid use, gambling, suicidal ideation, domestic violence, etc.).
In recent weeks, talk show host Wendy Williams has been a focus of great media scrutiny. To make a very long story short, Wendy is the host of "The Wendy Williams Show" on daytime t.v.. You either love her...or hate her. There is no middle ground. She begins each program with her "How YOU doin'?!" shtick. She is a big girl (nearly 6' tall) who wears a different wig every day...and who is known for telling it like it is. As in telling the "truth" about celebrities and their goings on as part of her "Hot Topics" opening segment each day. I happen to like her....but it is clear her personal life in recent months has eclipsed any celebrity drama she has ever presented on her show....
Wendy isn't pulling the trigger...or at least not as of this writing. Her husband and manager has allegedly been involved in a decade-old affair with a 30 year old woman, who just had his baby (allegedly!) this past Monday somewhere in Pennsylvania. Wendy, by the way, is 54 years old, her husband is 47, and they share a son who is college age. Beyond the alleged facts about Wendy's husband's affair, it is believed that Wendy's husband bankrolled his girlfriend's house nearby to where he and Wendy share their home...along with the girlfriend's training as a certified masseuse. Whatever. I mean if Wendy wasn't famous in her own right, would anyone care? Not really. Couples (sadly!) are agreeing more and more to this type of crazy arrangement as the new generations pop up to replace the one(s) who came before them. But that's another story for another blog post. (By the way, a friend just told me the other day that he and his wife were in Miami not too long ago...and some random couple from another country approached them at the bar for sex. WTF?! But hey---it was Miami and this is 2019! God help us all!)
What nobody has anticipated about this Wendy situation is how Wendy, herself, has been throwing herself under the bus as we have all watched it unfold on her daytime talk show. I know I am not getting the sequence correct here, but I remember watching her one day dressed up like Lady Liberty..and then she starts teetering and tottering on air like she was about to pass out. That was the first "What up?!" I remember thinking. That was several months ago. Then she made a statement about having been diagnosed with Graves disease and needing treatment for that. Then she slurred her words while addressing her audience on another show; that was attributed to medication use associated with fracturing her arm or shoulder or whatever it was. THEN she was off the air for a couple of months with a series of guest hosts standing in for her (which I didn't watch, by the way!). When she returned, she stood by her man (shout out to Tammy Wynette God rest her soul!)...and then the next thing we know, she's telling us on air she's living in a sober house in Queens....she's struggling with ??? (that wasn't ever made clear but she admits to having had a former problem with cocaine use and abuse)...and then after her husband's alleged mistress dropped that baby this past Monday, Wendy was reported to have been rushed to the hospital the other night. Why? Allegedly she bounced herself out of the sober house and found her way back to Jersey where she resides and got herself intoxicated.
OK...if the term "sh** show" hasn't yet entered your mind as you read this, give me a call and let me help you out with that o.k.? I feel extremely bad for Wendy; I think we all do who know and love her work. She obviously LOVES her husband above and beyond the call of duty if any of these allegations are accurate...but this self-destructive behavior is NOT GOOD by any stretch of the imagination! It just isn't! I am reminded of all the women I have seen (or have known personally!) who have behaved in a similar enough manner when confronted with their husband's alleged "drama" in whatever form that takes...or took at the time. Infidelity...drinking...gambling....white collar criminal behavior....sexual assault....even murder. I mean---at what point does a woman stand up for herself and say "Enough is enough!" At what point does a woman pull that trigger and say "I'm done here and it's time to move on.." and then really do it?
I don't know Wendy or her husband. For all I know, Wendy might be a whole other kind of woman behind closed doors. Who knows? What I do know is that nobody deserves to be treated...or treat themselves in a way that is unbecoming to them. (Shout out to Dr. Phil!)
For anyone who finds themselves in a relationship scenario that they feel overwhelmed by, that's what psychotherapy with a licensed professional is for. To help you wade through the muck and get to the truth of your circumstances...so you can make the best decision for yourself and/or your minor child(ren). We all are works in progress until the day we die, but if we don't know how to do our own work...or keep resisting doing what's right for ourselves right now...nothing is going to change. And that may be the absolutely worst outcome of all.
Until next post...
If you need help for your own problem(s) with addiction and/or mental health, there is a toll free national hotline to call. It is 1-800-662-HELP. You will then be referred to the right number to contact for your specific issue of concern (such as sex addiction, opioid use, gambling, suicidal ideation, domestic violence, etc.).